Boyf riends angst book

I dont love you - angst

supggwp its an evan x jeremy ship. i don't ship them but it's for the story. i hated writing this. end of story xoxo. Michael has to be the bad guy i'm sorry :( it'll be a v angsty story.

tw - suicide, self hatred.

Jeremy's POV

I' down the road, holding my boyfriends hand. His hands are so soft and he loves me so much. Way more than my ex did.

"Hey Jeremy, wanna go to a theme park today?" He asks me, softly.
"Sure Evan." I smile back at him.

We get to the theme park. It's amazing! Pac-man rides and video games! I want to see everything before it closes but no, the universe hates me.

Thoughts of him invade my brain. Calling me names, being horrible, making me do things I wasnt ready for. I seriously thought i loved him.

too fat

worthless

unlovable

slut

ugly

I fall to the floor.

"Jeremy?" I hear a soft voice call to me. I immediately break down into tears and Evan is down by my side. I grab onto his shoulder and keep on crying. He comforts me unlike Michael did. Michael used me. I thought he was amazing and caring and lovable. That's what he was like when we were friends. Then i caught feelings and he became abusive.

"E-evan, p-p-promise me y-you'll ne-never leave m-me or do w-what h-he did to me" I half whisper into his ear, sniffling.

"Oh Jeremy" He hugs me tighter "I promise I would n-never do anything without y-your consent a-and i would never fall y-you names!" He helps me back up to stand up and we start walking to the car. I actually think things might work out.

I thought wrong.

"Jeremy, I need to go to the bathroom. I'll see you in the car?"
"Okay" I kiss him and head to the car.

"Jeremy? Woah I didn't expect you to be here!" A recognisable voice calls from behind me. I start to walk faster to get away from him but he sprints after me and gets infront.

"Jeremy! No need to run, I don't mean any harm" He winks at me. All the thoughts of us come rushing back and I break down crying.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I scream at him. Evan comes rushing to my side again and Michael smirks.

"Oh look, You found yourself a new boy toy. " He tells me. Evan starts growling at him and i grab his arm. I don't want to break out a fight.

"S-stay away from me you monster, I don't love you anymore! I shout at him.

"Oh but you know you miss me! It's obvious in your eyes you can't get me out of your head. Come back to me Jeremy! "

I cant take it anymore. His words keep flooding my head as I run towards the motorway.

disgrace

whore

loser

waste of air and time

I get to the top of the bridge, above the motorway. Not in this lifetime Michael. I'm sorry Evan, I love you.

I go past the barrier and lean my hands out. Ready to fall.

"JEREMY STOP!" Evan yells. He grabs my hood and tries to pull me back. I keep my ground steady.

"Evan, I'm sorry. I love you so so so much. It pains me to do this but i have no other choice. The words won't ever go away" I turn to face him. "I love you, Evan Hansen. Don't ever forget that, please. Don't ever forget me." I kiss his forehead and fall backwards to my death. I look up and the last thing I see is Michael running towards Evan and Evan falling onto the ground in tears. I'm sorry.

I feel myself hitting the ground and immediately blacking out. No coming back from here. I promise i'll watch over you Evan. I promise.