Boyf riends angst book

NEVER MET - angst

tw- implied suicide. suicidal thoughts? self deappreciation.
sorry guys there has to be POV changes for this to make sense

♥️MICHAEL'S POV♥️

I miss Jeremy, since the day he left me actually. Well, I left him. Yes, I'm still in love with him but he's such a jerk because of the SQUIP. It's 'gone' ,sure but i know a part of it is still there, somehow controlling him.

It's only been a week since we broke up but he's all i can think about. I miss his stupid ass and our dumb jokes. I'm too scared to get back with him though, i'm too frightened he'll leave me again. I hope that maybe i can find someone better than him? All my money has also dissapeard because I spent it on a video game to try and get my mind off Jeremy. It still reminded me of how we used to play video games at 4am and cuddle.

I dunk my head into ice-cold water to feel something. I've felt numb ever since he left me and i want to be able to feel. Whenever my phone rang it'd be his contact and I loved the sound of his voice. It cracked from time to time but it calmed me down.

"Hey google, play my vibe playlist" I shout at my google, who responds with 'sure,' and starts playing the playlist. Immediately i feel warm tears streaming down my face, as i wipe them i recognise the song. Me and Jeremy always used to sing this song in the car or in my room. I cant even listen to my playlist without thinking of him now.

I text Jared, he's with Evan. I text Miguel, he's with Connor. I even text our 'squad' but they're all busy. It also seems like i can't trust anyone now. Too afraid they'll leave me like Jeremy. Thanks man, i have trust issues. I roll my eyes and shout at my google to play my sad playlist.

Honestly, would it have been better if me and Jeremy were never friends? Like, if i never came up to him in Kindergarten and hugged him, would my life be on a different path? I could have hugged someone who could have actually gotten me somewhere, but i chose him. I chose the twinky boy who i fell in love with.

💙JEREMY'S POV💙

I just let out the most ear-raping scream/cry you could ever imagine. I wish me and Michael never met. If he hadn't have hugged me this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have known about the Squip, i'd probably have gone to a different kindergarten because i would have made no friends in the one i actually went to, probably moved to a different state, but no. Michael had to come up and hug me!

We broke up the other day. It was funny, since i got my phone taken away. We both used our DS's and it was on pictochat. I cried too much and now my eyes and head ache. I'm pretty sure it's about to erupt. On the same day that we broke up, we went to Christine's birthday party. We said that we'd show up as a couple so we did.

Luckily this is all over. By this, i mean the SQUIP. It completely ruined my life. My goal was to date Christine but it decided it had its own dreams. Now that it's gone i'm not forced to hang out with the SQUIP squad anymore. They're all popular and I'm just a lame loser trying to fit in.

I'm never good enough and never will be. Honestly, we would all be better off without me, wouldnt we? Michael doesn't love me anymore, my dad is disappointed in me, my 'friends' hate me. I'm not worth it anyway.

Michael is probably on the phone to someone, ranting about how much of a shit person i am. I wouldn't doubt it. He used to always rant to me about his cousins that pissed him off. They're all probably talking bad about me together, hanging out in some secret location without me.

Also, Everything Michael said about me, he was lying. I'm not cute, I'm not beautiful, I'm not handsome. I'm not perfect. I'm a fat, ugly loser who doesn't deserve to feel emotions and would be better off gone. But i do miss him. I loved him, honestly loved him although it never looked like it.

I head outside to my roof. It's pretty high up since i have this huge ass house and nobody ever comes around. I place myself at the edge of the roof and lean forward.

Fuck it.

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i'm so sorry this chapter sucks,
i'll try harder next time i promsie <3

hey guys so if you ever feel like this i'm always here to talk (i'm looking at you, i'm not mentioning names but i'm looking at you ) Please text me if you feel like this, I love all of you, even if you don't comment or vote or i can't see you, just know there is someone out there who loves you!

this was my analysis for the song so that i could write a chapter. ( thanks mr english teacher for helping me analyse stuff quickly and helping me come up with ideas, you're pretty rad although you won't see this!)