Who Ever Said I Was A Good Girl?

Chapter 10

It had been a couple of months since my father left. Even though Zach was the best boyfriend in the entire world, he couldn't stop the pain of everything around me. I had been getting mean text messages from people in school telling me to kill myself and I shouldn't have ever moved here. I started to believe them. I was broken, and it felt like nobody could fix me.

I had just come back from a long day at school. Sure I had amazing friends and family, but this wasn't about them, it was about me. I slid into the bathroom and took out the razor. The pain felt so good compared to what I was feeling on the inside. I started crying. Zach texted me, but I decided to ignore it, I wanted to be alone in pain right now. A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and there stood Zach. He looked at me and as his eyes started to tear up, he said, "Aw babe, why?" "Life got to me," is all I said before he sat down beside me and took me in his arms. He didn't even mind the blood on his shirt, he just wanted to comfort me. "Is this about your father?" he whispered. "It's about everything Zach, it's my father leaving, my mother having to work day and night to provide for us, it's the comments I get at school, the text messages I get out of school, everything." "If you had told me I could've helped you fix them-" "Zach, I love you, but there are some things you just can't fix," I said looking him in the eyes. He was crying now too. "I know," he said looking down, "I just wish I could. I hate seeing you in so much pain Siena. You deserve the world and all you're getting is this." "Zach, I promise I'll stop if you promise to make sure I'm actually okay, that I'm not just lying to you." "It's a deal, I love you so much Siena," he said kissing me.

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The next morning, I woke up in Zach's arms, it looked like he stayed the night. I heard the front door open as Carmen, Lily, Kylie, and Taylor came in. They just stared at me and Taylor finally said, "He texted us what happened. Siena, you know we love you, right? No matter what we say when we're joking around, you're our sister. We wouldn't trade you for the world." I got up and hugged them really tight. "It wasn't you guys, actually it was everything except you guys and Zach." "We're sorry Siena, we're having a sleepover tonight in your honor, okay?" said Lily. "Thanks guys, sounds fun. It should be here, so everyone can come over and be with us." "That sounds great!" said everyone including Zach. "Well look who's awake," I said to a sleepy Zach. "Not willingly, but you guys kept talking so I might as well have gotten up," Zach said in his husky morning voice.

"I think I wanna ditch school today, just get my mind off of things. You guys should go now before you're late!" I said to everyone. The girls kissed me on the cheek as they headed out the door. I looked over at Zach who was still in my bed, in cloths from the night before. "You should get going, you're gonna be late." "I think I'll stay home with you today, I'm getting tired of this school thing anyways, I'm ready for winter break." "Zach, I'm not gonna be cutting I promise!" "And I'm going to make sure of that, I promise!" he said mimicking me and hugging me really tight. I said into his chest, "Good job, you passed the test." I looked up and he kissed me.

We pretty much watched movies all day with the exception of breakfast, lunch, bathroom breaks, and board game breaks. He was currently winning in Candy Land and I eventually fell asleep in his arms. I woke up to the sound of my mother downstairs. Zach was watching football while I was asleep and he heard it too. It was about 4:00 so I would be out of school by now. I walk downstairs to see my mom turning on the TV and sitting back. "Hey mom, how was work?" "Exhausting, but I'm just glad I get 3 hours off before I work my next shift." I say, "I might go out with my friends tonight and have some of them over for a sleepover, is that alright?" I ask. She replies with, "Sure, it's Friday have fun. But I don't want any alcohol drinking or dangerous business got it?" "Yes ma'am, thank you," I said kissing her on the cheek. I just realized she said nothing about boys, so I was clear on having Zach and his crew over.

We seemed to stay at each others house's so often, we had a draw of each others thing in our rooms. Sometimes I would find a sock I had been missing in his room, or he would find a shirt he'd lost. It was nice having my friends and boyfriend live so close to me. Zach and I got dressed. I still wasn't comfortable changing in front of him, yet he didn't mind changing in front of me. I went into the bathroom to change as he ripped his shirt off. Damn that boy had abs. I got dressed and came back into my room. There was a knock on the door, so I went down to answer it. My mom had left for work again so we had the house to ourselves. Everyone was in their winter coats and jeans. Zach and I grabbed our beanies and headed out.

We all went straight for the park. The park had the most beautiful light display on the trees. We got there and just talked and sat. It was getting dark, but that was the best part. The trees lit up and we all stared in aw. Now that some my friends had boyfriends we decided to take couple pictures. Taylor and Carson went first, then it was Kylie and Elijah. Next it was me and Zach. In my opinion, we had the cutest picture. It was of us about to kiss in front of the trees. I had my arms around his neck and he had his arms around my waist. We all went back to my house after we finished the pictures and played around in the snow. Man it was cold.

I grabbed tons of food and snacks from the fridge and pantry, and we all headed for my room. It was around 11:00 when we were all settled in on my carpet floor. First we decided to play truth or dare. Oh no. It was my
turn, "Lily, truth or dare?" "Truth." "Have you lost your virginity yet?" "NO! I don't even have a boyfriend to lose it to!" Kylie replied, "You don't need a boyfriend to lose your virginity," and laughed. Everybody laughed and Hunter said, "True." "Lily your turn," said Noah. "Um, Carson, truth or dare?" And the game went on for a while. I started loosening up when nobody was calling on me. Carmen asked Taylor, "Truth or dare?" "Truth," said Taylor. "What is the best present your father brings you from New York?" Taylor's face went white, "Um, well, uh." "Taylor?" I ask, concerned. "I have something to tell you guys. My father doesn't live in New York." "Well then where does he live?" asked Zach. "He doesn't live anywhere... he died two years ago. I didn't want to tell you because you guys have perfect families and I didn't want to be the odd one out," she said with a tear running down her face. Carson hugged her as tight as possible and Carmen said, "We don't have perfect families! My mom and dad fight every night." "Ya, and my dad left us a couple of months ago, we don't have perfect families by any means. It's not just you," I add. "I meant you had a father and a mother, not that you actually had perfect families," she sniffed. "It's okay, but you can tell us anything you know that, right?" asked Elijah. "Ya, thanks guys." "Okay, your turn now," said Kylie. "Um, Siena, truth or dare?" "Truth," I said smiling. "What was the scariest moment you've ever been through?" she asked, thinking a bit before speaking.

That's when everything flashes back. I could see the switchblade in my hand, the blood on the ground. I started shaking and hyperventilating. "Siena are you okay?!" asked Zach. The room was spinning, and I realized I was crying. Oh no. They were about to get it out of me, I couldn't let anyone know, but I was too weak not to tell someone right now. Zach took me into the hallway where I broke down in his arms. Everything spilled out within 5 minutes...