Everything feels so out of place. I feel so strange. I can't quite figure out what's up with me. I have a few ideas though.
I think the most likely explanation is that I'm lonely.
Very lonely.
I just don't really feel like talking yet at the same time I feel as if I could ramble on for hours. I don't what to do with myself. I need to talk to someone. Anyone. Well not anyone, most people get on my nerves at the moment but I know someone who I always enjoy talking to.
My best friend John.
I rang him up and without hesitation he slammed down the phone and ran to my flat.
"Belladonna open up! Please it's pissin' it down" I hear a loud banging on my front door and unlatched it. John was slumped over, covered in rain.
"Oh sorry, didn't hear you" I apologise timidly. I walk through to the living room and John follows, removing his jacket and shaking the rain off.
"That's alright doll" he smiles bright, hanging his damp coat over the radiator.
"Did it just start raining?" I ask tiredly, throwing myself on my couch and curling my knees to my face.
"Bella it's been raining non-stop for the past 4 days. When was the last time you were outside?" John waltzes over to the sofa and sits next to me.
"Uhhhhh I dunno" I laugh unrealistically, faking a smile.
"Bella what's wrong?" John places his hand on top of mine, warming the tops of my sensitive skin.
"I dunno"
"Are you upset about something?"
"I dunno"
"Okay Belladonna I'm going to ask you another question and this time I want a real answer"
I nod my head silently and look at him quietly. He scoots back a tiny bit, removing his hand and sitting up straight.
"Bella, when was the last time you were kissed?"
"W-What?" I say in confusion as to why he wants to know.
"Kissed. Y'Know.. by a boy" he stares right at me.
"Ehhh well I dunno"
"Bella!!" He yelps in annoyance.
"Well I don't know! It was that long ago" I blurt out the last part accidentally. I didn't really want him knowing those kinds of things.
"Is that why you're so sad? You're lonely?" His eyebrows raise in wondering.
I don't answer his question, instead I grab a cushion and hide my face in it, hoping if I lift my head he might disappear. I feel John grab the pillow and lower it from my face gently. He smiles softly.
"Bella if you were feeling this sad you should've told me sooner, locking yourself away for days on end and avoiding people is no good for you. I'm your best friend, there's no need to hide from me"
"There's every reason to hide" I snap back softly but sadly.
"What do you mean?" His face seems intrigued yet sad.
"I'm lonely cause I'm ugly and pathetic, no one wants to be with me, understandably so" I laugh at the last part upsettingly.
"Bella are you kidding me? None of those things are remotely true. You're Bella, Bell, Donna, Belladonna! My Belladonna! You're the most affluently gorgeous and purest person I've ever laid eyes on. Any man would be stupid to not see you and instantly want to kiss you!"
There's a short silence and during that, me and John just stare at each other, contemplating the many things either of us could say. I was about to speak up and deny his beautiful compliments but John gets there first.
"That must make me the most stupidest man to have walked the earth"
He leans forward and grabs my face in his hands, pulling me onto his lap quickly before looking at me momentarily before making out with my full force. I don't deny him access at all and simply kiss back.
"Bella I've loved you for so long now you don't even understand" John moans in my mouth. Caressing my hair and my back gently, slightly moving his crotch under me.
"Mmm John I love you too, so much" we breakaway from one another and smile, John wraps his strong arms around me and we lie on the couch together.
"I'm glad you called" he chuckles.
"So am I, I'm not lonely anymore"
"And you'll never be lonely again darling"
X————————————X
Here's some songs I was listening to while writing this!
Medicate - Gabbie Hanna
Come As You Are - Nirvana
Eleanore Rigby/Julia (love) - The Beatles
Sorry 'Bout That - Nancy Sinatra
Boys - The Beatles
Everybody Talks - Neon Trees
Somebody To Love - Queen
The Ballad Of John & Yoko - The Beatles
Dying In LA - Panic At The Disco
I've Just Seen A Face - The Beatles
The Girl Is Mine - MJ & Paul Mccartney
Empty Chairs - Don McLean
People Are Strange - The Doors
-☀️
