This Thing Upon Me [Order The eBook] [Harry Styles]

Chapter 34***

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. It's important to remember this is all totally fabricated, embellished, and exaggerated for entertainment purposes.)

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"I should steal you away..."

Randy Rogers Band | Steal You Away

***THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AND IS NO LONGER CENSORED***

He opened the last Stella and challenged me to a little drinking game, during which he couldn't stop leaning across to kiss me. After a few lazy, greedy pecks he would return to his seat until he felt the urge for more. For the game we were to take turns answering a series of uncomfortable questions, and if we couldn't answer adequately in 20 seconds, we had to drink. He ran to his room to get the whiskey in case the beer ran out, and brought with him a black coffee mug from a local Mercedes dealership. The Weeknd's "I Can't Feel My Face" drifted about the room, which Z sang along to and danced around a bit.

"Alright, Styler...first person youh had sex with after I left?"

"F—ks sake, mate," I growled, covering my face with my hands. He pulled them away.

"Goh. Harreh. Timer's set!"

"F—k, f—k, f—k ...umm...it was a woman...yeah. I met her at the market. Um...the end!" I cringed so hard just remembering, that I wanted to drink to wash it away. I necked the Stella until he snatched it away from my mouth, creating a suction noise in the bottle.

"Heyyyy..." I said, licking my lips.

"What're youh drinkin for?! You've got ten whole seconds left!"

"Mate, I'm done. She was older than me mum. I always said I wouldn't go older than me mum...but I did."I cringed again. "I'm not telling you about that." He fell back and kicked his feet in the air with a ridiculous laugh, to which I couldn't help but cackle too. His laughter was annoyingly contagious.

"Mate, shut up! Stop torturing me! She, uh, lived in this tiny loft in this old historic district, and she had like this weird jeweled screen around her bed. And these sort of Virgin Mary candles everywhere. The tall holders with the faces on them. She was like...Catholic, I think. And she barely spoke any English, and she just played this, uh, Russian gypsy music the whole time—"

"F—k, babe...youh can't be serious...."

"I am! And she made me eat this weird soup when I was done. And she stood over me the whole time until I finished." He began to choke on his laughter now, doubling over onto his side. I reached across and slapped his ass.

"Go, your turn!" I set the timer for him as he collected himself, wiping tears away.

"Wait, wait wait...was the gypsy music on a cd?!"

"No, vinyl! A record player! Shut up!" After another laughing fit, he breathily asked,

"Same question forh me?"

"Damn straight, same question!"

"Alright," he shrugged with a snicker. "Easy, Pez." He was referring to Perrie.

"No, that's not good enough. She doesn't count."

"Quit being a baby, Haz, before I put on some fooking gypsy music."