A/N: I had to. I really tried not to, but I just had to.
- Literally as soon as your feet touch the sand, Hvitserk is barreling straight into the ocean
- He pushes people out of his way, and you're pretty sure he knocked a cone of ice cream out of the hands of a little girl in his excitement
- And that's only within the first minute or so
- You manage to get an umbrella
- Courtesy of Bjorn and Ivar staring at people until they move
- After Ubbe is able to successfully wrangle Hvitserk out of the water, you line them up to slather sunscreen on them
- You spend a full minute trying to get Hvitserk to stop fucking moving away from your hands because he thinks the lotion is really cold
- Ubbe stays perfectly still while you do it, and scrunches up his nose when you put sunscreen lotion on his nose
- Bjorn chooses to do it himself, really
- And even though you know that grumbling little Ivar isn't going to go into the water with you all, he still lets you spray sunscreen on him
- When it comes to you; Ubbe, Hvitserk, and Ivar always argue over who gets to put sunscreen on your back
- So while they're bickering, Bjorn helps you out
- Anyway, when you're all ready, Ubbe picks you up, throws you over his shoulder, and bolts into the water
- He gives you absolutely no time to get used to the temperature before he and Hvitserk toss you into the ocean
- There goes your plan to keep your hair dry
- You spend the first 5 minutes in the water hopping over the waves so you don't swallow gallons of saltwater on accident
- Bjorn's kinda just looking on, making sure Hvitserk and Ubbe don't get too rough and try to murder each other or something like that
- But the second he looks away, they're holding each other's heads underwater to see who can hold their breath for longer
- Or trying to climb onto each other's shoulders to drown the other
- It's ridiculous
- Ivar watches from his spot under the umbrella, absolutely vibing to your beach playlist
- He doesn't really like the beach
- The sand is annoying, and he can't really swim, and he absolutely DETESTS being wet
- But he also dislikes being far from you, in case anything were to happen
- So he'll grab his swim float and join you for a little while
- He'll float alongside you in his little shark-mouth float
- You can thank your best friend for getting it for him
- He pretends to hate it, but if anybody but him touches it, he can and will drown the other person
- After you and Bjorn swim around for a little while, Ivar floats a bit too far into the ocean and screams for his life and Ubbe and Hvitserk finish their little game of ninja, you all head to the shore for a bit to take a break
- You all chill under the umbrella for a little bit
- Ivar's head is in your lap as you gently drag your fingers through his hair, and Bjorn is snacking on chips
- While the three of you are relaxing, Ubbe and Hvitserk are roughhousing on the sand
- They come back with their hair is sticking up in different directions and completely covered in sand
- When it comes to dusting sand off, there are two types of people
- There's sweet, gentle Ubbe, who sits and does his best to brush it off
- And there's Hvitserk
- He just violently shakes himself off
- Which effectively covers you, Ivar, and Bjorn's poor unsuspecting bag of chips before he can do anything about it
- Needless to say, Bjorn chased Hvitserk around the beach for a solid 5 minutes while you, Ivar and Ubbe lounged under the umbrella
- At one point, you decide to tan under the sun, and the boys join you
- Ubbe and Ivar are successful, but poor Hvitserk only ends up a bit red in the face
- As for Bjorn, he's definitely sunburnt
- The boys go back to the water and you decide to stay under the umbrella for now
- Hvitserk comes back a bit later with a whole fucking starfish in his hand
- He's really excited and keeps asking you if he can keep it
- Until it starts walking in his hands
- Boy's never shrieked any louder
- You come to realize Hvitserk had NO idea starfish could walk
- He would've dropped the poor creature, had it not been for you grabbing it before he did
- You do your best to safely return it to the ocean while Hvitserk stays in his spot, frantically wiping his hands on his trunks to get rid of the feeling of the starfish's little feet off his hands
- Poor baby will never be the same again
- You spend the rest of the evening walking along the shore, collecting sand dollars, seashells and hermit crab shells
- Ubbe is chasing after live hermit crabs
- It's not going so well
- Every time he goes to snatch one up, it burrows under the sand
- So Ubbe just ends up tripping and falling face-first into the sand
- Then you have Hvitserk trying to pull a Baywatch and tripping over some child's abandoned sandcastle because he wasn't paying attention
- Maybe you didn't have the relaxing beach day you were hoping
- But in the end, you did spend time with your boys
- And that's what matters
- Definitely not that Ivar is chasing Hvitserk with a probably terrified starfish
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