Starting Over •JJK• ✔️

Eleven

***TW: Mentions of sexual/emotional abuse. I don't go into explicit detail, but want to note it in case it would make anyone uncomfortable.***

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I dabbed my eyes with the tissues and let out a heavy sigh, my breath shaking as much as my hands. I pulled up the messages on my phone and handed it to JK.

He read the most recent text and scrolled up to see the others. He didn't recognize the name at the top of the screen. "Trevor?"

I winced at the sound of his name and nodded.

JK finished reading and looked at me. "Is this your ex-boyfriend?" He set my phone onto the coffee table. "You've barely mentioned him."

I was looking down and fidgeting with the hems of my sleeves. I shook my head.

JK gently lifted my chin to turn and look at him. "You're trembling." His eyes searched my face and he looked very worried. He spoke quietly. "What did he do to you?"

I closed my eyes and exhaled again. I wasn't ready to relive all of this but I knew I had to. I'd never told anyone everything about my relationship with Trevor. But if anyone deserved to know, it was JK.

He took my hand and sat closer to me. He made me feel safe, so I began my story.

"We met at a party through mutual friends. We talked for most of the night and he asked me out before we left. He seemed nice enough and we hit it off, so I accepted. He took me to this really expensive restaurant and I figured he was way out of my league. His parents own a huge real estate company, which he now works for, so he never knew life without money. He always got what he wanted with little to no effort. I was a bit of a struggle for him at first but after a few more dates, we became official."

I shifted on the couch to face JK. I curled my leg in front of me with my other foot on the floor. He still held my hand as I continued. "Everything was great in the beginning. He was really sweet and he said and did all of the right things. He made me feel like maybe he could be the one. He was the only person that I'd ever truly fallen in love with."

I grabbed my glass of water off of the coffee table to take a sip, trying to swallow the growing lump in my throat. "We moved in together after about eight months. It was this lavish condo that I felt I had no business living in. But it was his place and he asked me to move in with him, so I did." I cleared my throat. "That's when everything started to crumble."

I looked down at JK's hand that held mine and started playing with one of his rings, twisting it back and forth on his finger. "It was subtle at first. He would get a little short with me over the dumbest shit, like simply walking into the room when he would be on the phone. Then he would apologize an hour later. That started happening a lot and it got to the point where I kind of got used to it and would ignore it."

I rubbed my nose with the back of my hand. "Then he started making these little snide remarks, like maybe I should start hitting the gym more often. He'd say that he couldn't show up to business dinners with a chubby girl. Because that's what I'd turned into for him, just a pretty little thing to hang on his arm for when he'd attend different social gatherings."

JK gently squeezed my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles as he silently listened. I'd only glance up at him once in awhile. "I don't know when it started, but then he would make it so I'd have to constantly check in with him to tell him where I'm going, who I'm with, and when I'd be home. Yet he was always staying late at the office or going out for drinks with what he referred to as 'clients.'" I looked up at JK. "I knew that he was out fucking around. I'm not nearly as stupid as he always made me feel."

"You aren't stupid at all." JK tucked my hair behind my ear. "Never call yourself stupid."

I cleared my throat again, pausing before I continued. It was my turn to squeeze his hand. "He'd start coming home at all hours of the night drunk off of his ass. At first, he would just crawl into bed and pass out. But after awhile, he'd start...expecting things from me."

JK's thumb stopped moving over the back of my hand for a moment and I could almost feel his body go stiff. His eyes slightly narrowed but he didn't speak.

"I'd try to turn him away at first. But like I said, if he wants something, he doesn't take 'no' for an answer, so I'd just give in and let him do what he wanted." A tear fell down my cheek. "I went from being his pretty little arm candy to his little 3am plaything. At least he would listen to me when I'd tell him to put a condom on. Even though I've been on birth control since I was a teenager, he didn't want to end up having to 'deal with' a pregnancy. And I sure as hell didn't want to catch whatever the hell he could have contracted from the whores he'd met at the bar."

JK wiped my tear away. "How dare he...take advantage of you like that." His voice was soft but I could tell that he was angry.

"It happened every time he would go to the bar, like clockwork." I sniffled as more tears started to fall. "I hated it. He no longer treated me like a person. I was just an object for him to use whenever he felt like it. And I was in too deep at that point. I couldn't just leave because I had nowhere to go. He'd threaten to make my life a living hell if I left and he found me."

JK ran the backs of his fingers over my cheek to wipe more tears away. "If you think he's going to come here to find you, you're safe here. We won't let anything happen to you."

"I know." I closed my eyes at his touch. "He terrifies me. And it's not just from what he did to me...physically, but emotionally. I became a shell of a person. He made me feel worthless and disgusting." I started tugging on the ends of my long sleeves again. "He wouldn't even kiss me, and if he did, it would only be when we were at a social event. It would be nothing more than a peck on the cheek, at that."

JK pulled me over to him and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. His chin rested on my shoulder and his voice was as gentle as always. "I hope you don't still feel that way about yourself."

I shrugged. "Sometimes."

JK pulled back and looked me in the eyes. His stare was sincere but serious. "You are beautiful, Maddie. Anyone who says anything besides that doesn't even deserve to have you in their life. And I don't just mean a beautiful face, but a beautiful heart. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am just to be around you." He moved a few strands of hair away from my eyes. "You are amazing. And you are someone who more than deserves to be kissed properly." He lightly sighed as his fingers twirled the ends of my hair. "And often."

My eyes remained locked on his and my heart sped up at his words. I'd been fighting against my feelings for him and I was tired of fighting. Telling him everything didn't scare him away, which was a thought that scared me. He was still here even after hearing about my broken pieces. And it wasn't until now that I realized that he'd already been slowly putting my broken pieces back together.

"Kiss me?" My voice was quiet. "Please?"

JK's gaze fell onto my lips. His hands moved up to either side of my face and he closed the gap between us to press his mouth against mine. My eyes closed right as they met, and he moved his lips over mine in the most genuine kiss that I've ever received. His lips were as soft as their movements, and mine moved perfectly with his. He lingered there for a few extra moments before pulling back and resting his forehead against mine. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that."

I sighed, running my hands up onto his shoulders. "Probably for as long as I've been wanting you to."