Mind Full Of Tricks

Memoir

Memoir

"you never know what you have until its gone"-anonymous. Take a minuet to think about that . Many individuals have a hard time accepting change . what you thought would never be a missing piece in your daily life is now the most difficult thing to deal with.

It is essential to always consider the worst outcome of every possible situation , so that way you wouldn't be disappointed with the positive engraved product that you have come up with. Now I would take this thought into consideration for when things don't feel right.

 Lower my expectations to ground zero, and change my perspective on what is unfolding right in front of me. But that's not the case today-or I mean... it hasn't been for the past 5 months.

I used to hate leaving the house , always wanted to be cooped up in my warm bed , watching Netflix all day . Maybe listen to some music , but go outside? The chances were probably 0 to none. Due to personal reasons, I had already stopped physically going to school around January 23 , I did all my work online , and my teachers would email them to me. 

And guess what? Life was great! Woke up when I wanted to, had much more time on my hands, and I did exactly what every teenager wanted to do; stay up until sunrise and sleep in . I would leave to go to parks, and mini "party" picnics with my family and their friends.

 On a good day I would leave to the mall or the galleria. The only time I came back to school was when I had a test or a quiz , and I would show up at 4:00 p.m. , do what I have to do and go on 'bout my day. Never would have thought, that when I left for a test on that Wednesday afternoon , it was going to be my last.

During the spring break weekend my sister decided to invite her friends for a pool party . They made a little picnic in the back yard , a couple feet away from the pool. It was extremely humid when they had first arrived , but the bipolar persona of the Houston confusing weather can never make up its mind. Out of the blue, The sky was grey , the clouds colliding and melting into one, almost as if it was about to rain. 

The cool breeze kissed our exposed skin , and we lay there on the picnic blanket across from one another ,quietly listening to some random music station . suddenly my sister gets an email , "for the safety of our students, from covid -19 ,spring break has been extended for another week , " she read. I wasn't really looking forward to it , because I had already been at home for quiet a while. 

They all jumped and roared with excitement , even one of them decided to jump in the pool fully clothed! Later on that week , They had officially announced that the college campus's , high schools, middle school's , and even elementary had been closed.

It was all fun and games for my family on the first day . My parents left in a hurry with a debit card , some masks , fear , and half a bottle of hand sanitizer, but came back with a grocery store . Our fridge and pantry were filled with snacks , veggies and fruits.

The first 2 months went by quickly. I had come accustomed to wasting my time without realizing it. My dad had a strict policy of not going outside. Leaving within a .125 mile radius meant you were risking your life. And so we stayed trapped inside. getting tired of seeing each other; over and over and over and OVER again. It was as if we were secretly going insane .

 No physical contact with other people put us in a state of mind where not only were we afraid of ever meeting others again, but we had a hard time focusing on keeping our friendships. When your internet is slow, It's hard to keep a connection with someone through the phone . (no pun intended ha-ha)

Boredom really kicked in on the 3rd month. I forgot what the trees looked like, what inhaling oxygen felt like. I have been consuming A.C. air , and it felt like my lungs were giving out on me. where we even on earth anymore? 

My brain cells shrunk from the useless information I provided to my mango sized brain. I don't want to stay home this long EVER again. the house was like a premium package jail cell. Well... I left the house once ; for my dentist appointment. But when I tell you that , that was the best feeling ever . My eyes glued to the passing cars , at the people covering their faces, at the homeless dogs, and crackheads . it was wonderful and refreshing !

 The houses that i once got tired of looking at were now what I enjoyed most , of course the windows were rolled up, but in that moment , IN that car ride, a motion of happiness hit me. Why did I take all those moments of seeing what the real world was like for granted? I spent the minuets of my everyday life looking forward to a meaningless , childish plan to avoid the best thing that is now what I crave for most.

 When I saw my dentist my heart stopped, I got nervous, my palms were sweating with whatever low self esteem I had left. There was actually someone different for the first time in 4 months! Something about seeing an unfamiliar face felt comforting. And what felt like 2 minuets turned out to be 30 instead. Enjoying whatever sight I was looking at , I didn't want this to end , but all the best things in life can never last too long.

After that dentist appointment I went back to my routine of sleepless nights, and unhealthy eating habits. And while I was stuck at home , people left without a care , without keeping in mind that there is a damaging, poisonous disease that can't be seen .

 A disease that made a statement with numbers, with the amount of hospital beds, with grief ,and with precious lives. Death could be encountered with the start of a cough and in an end of a goodbye through a glass window. 

How sad right? I'll keep on going, pushing through this depressing circumstance and hope that one day my family , me, and everyone else, to look back and recognize... wait... no ... appreciate everything that was provided for them. And to see that if they made it out of this horrible , unbelievable pandemic, they can do anything!