༶•┈ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 ┈•༶
┊͙ˏˋ 𝐜𝐡. ⓬ ࿐ྂ
-͙
It's been five years since Eunha passed away.
Little by little, Jungkook climbed his way out of the hellhole he fell into with the help of friends and family but most importantly, himself.
Still, her death had a lasting effect on him. The numbness of his loss had passed, but the pain would hit him out of nowhere, doubling him over, racking his body with sobs. Where are you? He would cry out in his mind. Where have you gone? Of course, there was never any answer.
The pain that flowed from him was as palpable was the frigid fall wind and soon the people who were at his side were his friends, struggling to keep their tears silent, looking up to the watery skies and heaven beyond. Jungkook had to believe his baby was safe up there, comfortable and warm. To look down would be to imagine her cold in a box, bereft of his embrace and kisses.
Now there was just a graveyard, a stone that bore her name and her cold bones beneath the soil. He had always been agnostic, but now he put all of his faith in God to care for her and reunite them when his life was done. Nothing and nobody that good could simply disappear, she was waiting, he could feel it.
For five years, every memory played like a song in Jungkook's head, repeating itself for what seemed like forever. He was lost mostly because he had lost a big part of himself. He couldn't get that part back and he wanted it so badly as if his life depended on it but it was all gone.
He could say it got better but it did get easier. At first, he thought grief was something bad that takes you ten feet under but soon, he learned that it was just the price he had to pay for loving someone.
Jungkook would write letters to her then burn them afterwards. He wrote a million letters, each one the same as the last in sentiment and cadence. They stayed the same, only the word arrangement changed. It boiled down to one thing, I miss you.
In his mind, she should've been there with him until the end. Ultimately, no one knew if it was selfish or not and even if it was, to hell with the rest of the world and their opinions. She should've been there. He missed her.
Sometimes her memory made Jungkook sad — first love can get you like nothing else. But he had to stop thinking of her, at least not with sadness. The wish for her to be there filled him with such rage and bitterness that he thought he'd explode, but she was long gone and he had to accept that fact.
Throughout the years, Jungkook got his head back in the game. He studied hard in school and got his name back up on the student board. He participated in sporting events and regained the scholarships he lost. He became closer to his six best friends and learned to social better with others. Jungkook put all of the negativity aside and thrived. He wanted to live his best life, and so he did.
Jungkook realized he deserved a good life, he realized that he could move on. He learned to stop finding sadness in the memory of Eunha and instead focused on making plans for his future. He wanted to do better and be better for her.
Jungkook wasn't able to go through the five stages as others do, but he made it anyways, through the grief of losing her, and in that process he found someone better.... he found himself.
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