The Beginning of Hope

Part 19

The meal the Egertons served was easily as delicious as any he might have had at Pemberley and even eating surrounded by strangers, which would not normally have been a pastime Darcy enjoyed, was rendered bearable by the presence of several he could now consider friends. Bingley was lost to him, of course, for his friend's whole attention had been captured by Miss Jane Bennet. Charles looked so deliriously happy whenever Darcy had cause to look at him, though, that he could not bring himself to resent that fact. Let Bingley be happy. At least this Miss Bennet seemed to return his affections.

Then again, I had thought the same true of her sister, Darcy thought, with a grimace. Perhaps the ability to act and persuade gentlemen of the depths of their affections was a family trait all five Bennet sisters possessed. His turned his attention to Mary, who he had felt an uncanny degree of sympathy with. Her feelings did not seem in any way manufactured. Quite the opposite. She strove to hide them, he wagered, and she did so badly, which fact endeared her to him all the more. He despised falsehood and he felt a strange certainty that Mary was one young lady who could not conceal truth even if she wanted to. She cared for Mr Egerton, and even without the use of his eyes, Egerton must surely know it.

Darcy savoured a bite of his meal, reflecting on a hint his new friend Egerton had given him during their private audience in the small ante-room Egerton used as a study. He seemed to tell by sensing that Darcy thought the idea of a blind man needing such a space was unusual, for he answered the question before Darcy had even thought to ask it.

I may not be able to read the books that line these shelves, but that does not mean I am not calmed by their presence, he had said. And I assure you, Mr Darcy, if you possessed a sister as prone to conversation as mine is, you, too, would seek solace from her company once in a while.

This had been the very opening Darcy had needed to confide that he did, indeed, have a sister, and it was through Georgiana that he knew the very worst of Wickham's failings as a gentleman. He had not spoken, though, fearing even now to speak of his sister's suffering. It was not because he did not trust Egerton, but if Georgiana did come to Hertfordshire, however fleetingly she might remain, it was better nobody know of their shared past.

"It is rather unfortunate, is it not?"

Caroline had seemingly noticed the downturn in Darcy's expression and fancied she knew its cause. In no mood to humour her, Darcy said nothing, merely moved his food around his plate and allowed her to read whatever response she wished to into his inaction.

"I suppose there is no helping it now, for Charles is utterly lost and Miss Bennet seems to encourage him with mere looks!"

Miss Bennet seemed to deploy just such a look then, smiling at Bingley in a manner that Darcy privately thought endearing, which prompted his friend almost to choke on a mouthful of food. He recovered himself quickly, taking a sharp swallow of wine, and their conversation continued without incident.

"Is it so very bad a match?" Darcy asked, knowing that Caroline thought it was but wondering just then where Bingley might find a better. His attention strayed to the end of the table occupied by Egerton, his sister and Mary Bennet and thought what luck he had to have found a young lady so well suited to him, and to whom his infirmity was no obstacle. Would that we could all be so fortunate.

Darcy's food had grown dull in his mouth and he swallowed with effort, before pushing his plate away.

"I can well understand my brother being taken in by Miss Benet's pretty smiles and feminine charms, but I thought you would be a little less receptive," Caroline whispered, her voice dripping with disdain. When Darcy glanced at her, she changed her tack, evidently fearing that to be too sharp would be to alienate him entirely, injuring her own future prospects into the bargain. "I mean, I dare say she is quite agreeable. Goodness knows if he must marry one of the Bennets I should prefer it to be her, but..." She trailed off, gesturing with her fork as if the enormity of the scale of Miss Bennet's flaws were too insurmountable to put into words.

Despite himself, Darcy found his gaze straying to a certain other corner of the table, where another Miss Bennet said. Elizabeth had her father to one side of her, and Mr Collins to the other, which made Darcy's heart lurch. They were so often together now that it was surely only a matter of time before an announcement was made, and since Caroline had suggested it he could not keep his mind from tormenting him with visions of Elizabeth married to Collins and happily settling into their shared life in Kent. His lips turned down further as this realisation took full hold. There would be no avoiding them. However rarely he was at Rosings, he could not avoid going there altogether. He would be forced to see Elizabeth again, to witness her living the kind of life with Mr Collins she could never have with him. The kind of life she would never have, he corrected himself, with a frown. She was the one that chose to ignore my letter. She chose not to come to our last meeting. I would have been willing - more than willing - to make a way for us, and she was the one who destroyed whatever chance we might have had.

Mr Collins leaned closer to Elizabeth, then, whispering something that provoked her to smile and turn immediately to her father, undoubtedly to pass on whatever comment Collins had chosen to make. Darcy's stomach turned.

"I suppose we might intervene," Caroline ventured, and for a moment Darcy thought she meant to separate Elizabeth from Mr Collins' clutches. He turned to her with more enthusiasm than he intended and she beamed, delighted to have so thoroughly captured his imagination.

"I was thinking we might go to London," she said, her cheeks flushing with excitement as she spoke. "You might fabricate some reason for being there, and suggest we accompany you for a little while." Her smile grew sly. "Who knows how long we may be pressed to remain there? I am quite sure, if my brother was merely kept apart from Miss Bennet for even a short while, her attractions for him would fade and he would think clearly once more."

Darcy frowned.

"You wish to part Miss Bennet...and your brother?"

"Yes!" Caroline laughed, before glancing around, self-conscious that she might have been overheard. She leaned a little closer to Darcy and dropped her voice to a whisper so that he was forced to remain near to her to hear. "It is plain that we must do something, and I think this a very satisfactory solution, do not you?"

It was on the tip of Darcy's tongue to say no, to mention one small detail that he was already privy to - that Mr Egerton and his sister were likewise planning to decamp to London and had already invited Mary and whichever of the Bennets cared to accompany her, but another thought registered with him first. If we go to London then Georgie can meet us there. She will be kept safe from ever crossing paths with George Wickham again!

This must be his first and only concern, as it had always been. To protect and care for Georgiana, who was the whole sum of people he cared about. He thought Caroline Bingley's plan was flawed, knowing to his own cost how distance, be it geographical or temporal, served only to further fan the flames of love, if it was truly love to begin with, but he did not mention that. Why not put Bingley to the test? More accurately, why not put Jane Bennet to the test? Elizabeth had not cared enough for him to overcome the possibility of separation. If Jane's fidelity was the same, better Bingley know it now.

"Very well," he murmured, low enough to carry only as far as Caroline's ear. "Let us put your plan into motion."

Jane let out a musical laugh and Darcy glanced over at her, seeing Bingley's delight in his handsome, open features. He recalled that feeling all too well, and now, when he looked across the expanse of the table to see Elizabeth Bennet leaning unbearably close to Mr Collins, his heart constricted. I wish Bingley better luck than I. Perhaps if we go to London, I might leave Elizabeth behind once more, and this time have success.