COLD

Ch 17: Lost Ones

 

A  week later

My family, Chres and I landed from off the plane walking out of the tunnel .Where in my hometown Baltimore, Maryland for some reason it was bittersweet to be back home. I still didn’t feel anything but I was shocked and happy that Chres was coming to the funeral with me for support. I really appreciated it, he's far from the guys I ever dated even though I'm not opening up completely. I like how he's being patient. He's a great friend to have, even though I'm going through all of this I was completely worried about my brother and sister. I was totally against my sister and brother going to the funeral. I didn’t want them to see her dead and gone. Not like they remembered much because they were babies. Thinking back at how I had to raise them while my mother was strung out. I remember all those sleepless nights.

It was 10 pm at night, the funeral starts at 11 am tomorrow and I wasn’t ready. My aunt brought Chres and I our own hotel which I thought was awkward. I was nervous I've never stayed in a hotel with a guy ever in my life or even a bed. Of course my uncle wasn’t too fond of the idea. He liked Chres but he still doesn’t like the idea of his niece lying with some guy; Even though I'm a grown woman. I placed on my shades getting in the rental car with Chres. Mason knocked on the door, I pulled the window down. “Yesssss bro”

“Brelyn is getting on my nerves can I ride to the hotel with you? He asked.

“Sure” I  yawned . He opened the back door getting in. “Chres” I called.

“Yeah”

“After the funeral do want a tour around my city? I asked. “Umm sure” he said looking at me strangely. The rest of the ride was quiet, I looked out of the window and I kept having flashbacks.

Flashback

My mother and her boyfriend were getting into another argument. I was in my bedroom next to them trying to fall asleep. I had a final in the morning and I needed some sleep it was 11 o clock and I had to get up at 6. I grabbed my phone and called my neighbor Ms. Elise. She was very nice and understanding. She knew what happened in my house, she knew if I called her this time of night something was going on. Ms. Elise was a friendly widow that lost all of her kids so she didn’t mind watching my siblings for me when I went to work and school. She even gave me a spare key; I had Bre lying on my chest while sleepy Mason was holding my hand. She had the door open for me and this was literally my safe haven. She took Brelyn from me and placed her on the sofa. Once I closed the door I broke all the way down.

“Ms. Elise I can’t take this anymore I'm literally tired” I cried dropping on my knees

“Every night it’s the same shit , My mom is getting cussed out by her boyfriend and beat up I have to save her every time and I am tired. I don’t get any sleep I never got a chance to be a child ever. This is my senior year of high school and she isn’t there physically, mentally, or emotionally for me. She's so stung out she can't even give me money because she's not in the right mind. So I have to go through her bag and get what I need, and then when I get home from school I end up getting cursed out by both of them.

“I don’t know what I'm gonna do I refuse to be like her, How am I gonna go to college who is gonna take care of my sister and brother” I cried. She bent down in front of me.

“Sweetie it’s going to be okay”

“IT'S NOT GONNA BE OKAY, I AM SO TIRED OF EVERY BODY TELLING ME THAT. IT DOESN’T GET BETTER. IT'S HURTS SO DAMN BAD, HOW COULD  MY OWN MOTHER NOT BE THERE FOR ME I DON’T DESERVE THIS SHIT. I DON’T ANYTHING TO ANYONE I JUST GO TO SCHOOL AND WORK AND THEN WHEN  I GET HOME, I HAVE TO WATCH MY MOTHER BECOME A PUNCHING BAG. IM TIRED”