Excuse Me? (GxG)

I Miss You

I get up and groan, it's too early. I look at my watch and I woke up at 4:00 AM. I look and see Cam sitting and reading.
"Why are you up?" I say looking at her. She looks up from her book at me.
"How are you feeling?" She asks, completely ignoring my question.
"My head hurts." I say while rubbing my temples. She reaches into her bag and throws me a bottle of Advil.

After a little while my headache dies down. I sigh and completely sit up.
"How much do you remember?" She asks me. I try to think back.

I remember going to the party and being sad that Cam walked off, then I took a few shots but I don't remember much else.
"Did... did Mark break up with me?" I ask Cam. Cam nods and puts down her book. "Why?" I ask.
"You were Umm, you were making out with some guy." She says. Memories start to come back to me.

I put my hands over my face and sigh.
"Ugh I always mess things up." I laugh at myself into my hands. "I've never been able to keep something." I say.

Cam moves over to sit next to me.
"I think cheating is wrong... but I'm sorry you haven't been able to keep something I guess." She says.
"I never think about the cheating... I never really care about the guys I date and I never really have them in mind... I know it's really bad and it really confuses me." I admit, "I just want to be able to not fuck up for once." I say.

Cam puts her arm around me and I lean into her.
"Cam..." I say.
"Yes?" She looks at me.
"What if... what if I end up not having feelings for guys at all..." I say. I can't say 'what if I'm gay' out loud, maybe I just don't wanna date anyone yet... maybe I just haven't met the right guy.
"Well what's wrong with that?" Cam asks me.
"Everyone seems so happy with their boyfriends but whenever I date a guy I just feel empty." I explain.

Cam takes a moment to think about what I said.
"Well what if you didn't date a guy?" She suggests.
"I can't." I say.
"Why?" She asks.
"My dad would hate me, you know how he feels about all of that. Quinn would never want to talk to me again, she's so religious. Everyone in school would hate me, my grandparents would hate me." I say.
"Well maybe if they can't except you for something you can't control, then they don't deserve you." She says.

I sigh and lean more into Cam, I never really thought about that. I feel Cam lift me into her lap and wrap her arms around my waist.
"I wish I was as brave as you." I say to Cam. I hear her chuckle.
"One day." She says.

~~~

"Oh my gosh what happened to your face?!?" Quinn runs up to me as I get my lunch, Jenna is quick behind her.
"Oh yeah, I guess I was too drunk to notice that last night." Jenna says.
"Dodgeball." I answer sighing.

We walk over to some picnic benches and sit down. It's been awhile since I've had lunch with them.

"So how's sharing a tent with Cameron?" Jenna asks me.
"Well it's not as bad as-"
"Oh my lord I heard an awful rumor about Cameron." Quinn interrupts. I roll my eyes and sigh and Jenna pops her gum. "I heard that..." Quinn turns to a whisper, "she's a lesbian." She says with a worried expression.

As Quinn says that something inside me breaks, something just feels like it's ripped apart.

"Well no shit, that's why we don't like her." Jenna says while rolling her eyes.

I need to keep my front up, I can't show any sign of empathy for Cam.

"You didn't know that?" I scoff at Quinn. Her eyes go wide.
"That poor girl, she needs help." She says. I clench my jaw but don't say anything.

"It was weird how she took down Mark for you though." Jenna says.
"Ew maybe she likes you!" Quinn says to me.
"No, we used to be friends when we were little... I guess she still cares about me. Plus who doesn't want to punch Mark." I say and they both laugh.