Under The Moonlight

Chapter 21 (Part 1)

We sat in silence not knowing where to start. The door was locked so that we had no distractions during our supposed "talk" but there was no talk happening. I wanted to take the lead and ask him what was going on but the part that feared losing him made me shut up. 

"I'm sorry. But it wasn't what it looked like. She told me she liked me and when I said that I did not like her that way, she rambled about something and then kissed me. I pushed her away Seb. I would never do something shitty like cheat." 

Raven had tears forming in his eyes. He was starting to choke on his words and I patted his head. 

"Okay. I trust you. But I'm not going to be able to trust you around her for a while. I know that you did nothing wrong and that it was all her but seeing her kiss you broke me a little. I shouldn't be insecure about it, I really shouldn't but I am."

"Seb, I would never do that to you."

"I know Raven. But I don't want to lose you and not to her."

"That could never happen, Seb."

"But it could. It's happened before." I took in a sharp breath.

 "Have I ever told you about Aaron?"

He shook his head.

"Well back when I was fourteen, I had a crush on this guy. It was my first crush, the first time that I saw someone in a way that wasn't friendship. He kissed me on his birthday and after that he would find multiple ways to just get his hands on me. Of course I was ecstatic. My crush was actually being reciprocated and that was until I found out that he was with this girl the same time he was with me."

I took in a deep breath as I continued.

"She was his lab partner I guess and I confronted him about it after two weeks of him trying to get into my pants. He was livid, called me a stalker and some horrible names and I broke off whatever was happening between us. He came back two days later and said that what happened between the girl and him was her throwing  herself at him and I, like a fool, believed him. After all, trust was important in a relationship. But what I forgot was that there was no relationship between us in the first place. He was looking to get laid, wanting to experiment and I was just there."

"It was a month later that my slow self realized that he was with the girl and I was his guilty pleasure. I immediately asked him to stop contacting me but Aaron had a way with manipulating people into doing what he wanted. So after multiple arguments, we decided to go out on a date or something and one of his friends saw us kiss. Aaron turned up the next day, girl in hand openly kissing her and brushed off what happened between us as a lapse of judgement and that I initiated it."

He hugged me when tears started to roll down my cheeks. I hadn't realized that I was crying until then.

"He came begging during the break to let us continue our so called relationship in hiding whereas he would continue to be with the girl so that it was a win-win. I told him to kindly fuck himself with a toothbrush."

Raven kissed my temple gently, soothing me as I choked on a sob.

"So, it's not that I can't trust you. You aren't that scumbag. But witnessing something like that again just brought back a lot of repressed memories that I did not want. If I get jealous or insecure now, please bear with me until the feeling is gone."