The Bond

Dash and Dine

I woke from my nap disoriented as tiny tormenting pin pricks undulated across my skin. I sat up and pushed my snarled hair out of my eyes to see darkness outside my bedroom window. A distressed whimper escaped me as I realized it was happening again and my breath hitched in my throat in helpless frustration. There was nothing I could do and I felt trapped.

The needling bloomed into a roving explosion of fire from my chest and I bit my finger on a moan that morphed into a choked sob. I just couldn't take it anymore.

I felt my bed shift and was startled at Liam's somber face staring at me in the dark, his brown eyes pained and his matching hair mussed from sleep. I remembered we had come back to my house and laid on my bed talking. It wasn't uncommon for us to do this and sure enough my bedroom door was open into the dark hallway. As much as my parents didn't worry about Liam being in my room because we weren't mates, we always left the door open anyway. There was never anything to hide.

I locked my jaw tight as the needles returned and I tried to hide the full extent of my agony from Liam. He sat up next to me and surpise flashed through the pain. Liam was gently smoothing my hair in a soothing manner, his touch reassuring. I had expected him to leave as it was always explicitly understood that I preferred to suffer alone. To hurt like this was extremely intimate and being alone brought me comfort. Liam had always known this without having ever to be told.

But as he buried his hand in my hair and steadied me, I realized I didn't want to be alone. Not this time. I was so sick and tired of weathering the blizzard alone and being strong. I wanted his comfort and somehow Liam had known it before I knew it myself. I just felt so weak and tired.

As the fire returned I bit my lip and buried my face in Liam's chest. His one hand remained cupped in my hair while the other wrapped securely around me as if holding me together before I could shatter apart. His chest was hard and I felt his face press into my hair.

The pain hadn't lessened and I clung to Liam while restlessly shifting and nuzzling him for relief. His scent enveloped me with the strength of memories that spoke of home and I took it into me in bracing inhales through my nose that I released in shaky gasps.

Liam shifted and my face skimmed his collarbone. It was thoughtless and magnetic the way our foreheads came together, his nose brushing mine. Our heads turning so that we were cheek to cheek, eyes closed. So softly we rotated and his lips found mine. The lightest brush that I found myself senselessly rooting forward into.

And like that we were kissing. And what had started slowly snowballed into a frantic grappling of each other. His tongue in my mouth filling the emptiness and his hard body molded like bent metal around mine. The mix of pain and Liam's kisses sending me into a chaotic melody of sensation. I couldn't think. I didn't want to.

For the first time in a long time I felt alive and almost whole with Liam wrapped around me. And just like the snap of a rubber band, the pain stopped. It just stopped. Not the usual build up as our bond was stressed between my soulmate and me, but a sudden slack that had me jerking forward like I had missed a step. My teeth bumping into Liam's.

And with a frigid douse of water I realized I was kissing Liam. I went immobile under his frenetic touch in shock before violently pushing away from him. I couldn't spare a thought for why the pain had stopped so suddenly, I could only scramble off the bed.  I flicked on my bedside lamp and stared at my childhood friend in abject horror.

He sat on my wrinkled blue comforter with tangled hair, his lips pink and swollen as he gazed at me with dazed, half-lidded eyes looking lost and confused. I could feel myself start to shake and I found I couldn't look at him for a second longer. I felt wretched and sick. Everything was wrong. I had royally screwed up everything.