The Bond

A Damsel and in Stress

I sighed inwardly as a beautiful girl entered the restaraunt and began walking to the moody blonde guy. She was tall in an attractive way that gave a grace and confidence to her limbs. She had long hair dyed an unnatural maroon color that complimented her trendy crop top, jeans, and jacket combo. She pulled off a casual coolness I could never manage. I eyed my wrinkled plain charcoal grey shirt and resisted the urge to pat my messy hair. 

I looked back to the blonde guy and he was eyeing her in a sort of annoyed acceptance. I was mistaken in sensing some sort of kinship as she joined him at the table. I rolled my eyes secretly at the display of romance that was about to unfurl before me. Consoling myself and my lack of love related luck, I took a large self-pity sized bite of ice cream while I watched them sit tensely across from each other. There was evidently some drama between them. He ignored her as she spoke to him urgently and pulled his hand away when she reached out to touch it. His jaw seemed locked as he brooded out the window.

Something made the girl jump and sharply look towards the bar and I followed her gaze seeing that the talktive man had knocked over a napkin dispenser in what very well could have been an attempt to catch the waitress' attention once more. The girl turned back to her companion and resumed trying to get him to listen to her, but he was still sullenly staring out the window ignoring her.

She pouted cutely for a moment, tucking her thick hair behind her ear, while he made his body language clear that he wished to be alone. But when she looked away, her arms wrapping forlornly around herself, his cold shoulder cracked. His eyes wandered to her as she surveyed the diner, her brow puckered in either thought or judgement. Despite his bad mood, I could see the warmth in his expression as he looked at her and it made my heart yearn. It became clear that they were mates when he leaned forward and quietly said something, her head whipping around to face him at the sound. Her face bloomed into a sweet smile, even as he still looked vaguely perturbed.

They at least had their stuff figured out, even if they did appear to be under some sort of disagreement. Not at all like a certain someone who had kissed their best friend and was hiding out in a diner in the middle of the night to escape. My life seriously sucked. Trying not to be too obvious as I eyed them, I took another bite of my ice cream and was surprised to feel my appetite awaken. It felt messed up to feel hungry after the day I had had and the guilt of my stupid decisions.

My own thoughts turned again to Liam and the mess I had made of everything. Things would be awkward for a while, but I could only hope with some time and firmly drawn boundaries we would be able to rebuild what we had. There was a part of me that feared he would be just as angry with me as I was with myself. And even worse, I wouldn't blame him. He was just trying to comfort me and I ended up twisting it. I pondered reluctantly if I was in a way trying to punish my mate back for his misdeeds, but I didn't want to believe I had that particular seed of darkness in me.

I had just felt so lonely and lost. I wanted to be loved and held, but what happened instead was completely out of line. I internally cursed my mate again for his callous disregard to fate and the consequences I faced for it. I would never have fallen down this dark course if he hadn't blocked my true path in the first place. I pierced an apple slice on my fork and scrutinized it for an answer.

Feeling ridiculous I popped it in my mouth and slowly chewed. The cinnamon flavor was warm and welcoming. My eyes were again drawn to the troubled couple across the diner.
I watched the girl trying to talk to her mate as he ran a quick hand through his hair in agitation. His hair wasn't long, but it had enough length to lay like a small tidal wave in the direction his restless fingers had combed it. He was bothered about something but whatever it was her words were subduing him. She reached out to take his hand and hesitantly he let her. They were striking together, both of them beautifully different and yet complementary.

I felt a pang in my chest at the rightness of mates. Even at odds they looked right at place with each other. Looking at them in clear juxtaposition to myself was difficult. My mate had betrayed me not even an hour before and watching the matched pair was as cruel as it was cathartic.

I finally allowed myself to think it. If Liam had been my mate everything would have fallen into place. We understood and complimented each other. We had known each other for so long our lives and personalities were naturally intertwined. He was the closest thing to a mate I could imagine. Perhaps that was the root of our suddenly complicated relationship. I speared another apple piece as I contemplated my problems while watching strangers.

I should have stayed and talked to Liam. It was wrong to shake his world like that and run off leaving him confused and troubled. The apples soured in my mouth as new guilt settled on my already burdened shoulders. I swallowed heavily and released a quiet sigh. Even still, I wouldn't be throwing pebbles at his window tonight to get his attention. I needed time to sort my feelings so that when we did talk, I could approach the situation with my emotions under control and my thoughts collected. It wouldn't do any good when I'm just as confused, if not more so than Liam.

I took a sip of tea when the girl placed his hand on her cheek, making me suddenly uncomfortable at witnessing their intimacy. As I brought my cup down my eyes rose to them, my chest aching secretly for what they shared. Something I would never have, but would always long for.

His eyes caught mine once again and I felt my heart rise in my throat. I looked away and concentrated on my apple crisp. I was incredibly embarrassed to have been caught watching them and was relieved when the waitress came over to check on me and give me my ticket before making a beeline to the couple.

The girl waved her hand at the waitress saying something that I couldn't read from where I was at. She shook her head and the guy gave the waitress an apologetic wince and pulled a bill from his pocket and laid it on the table.

It was clear they were leaving, but I thought it was unexpectedly nice that he had tipped the waitress. The girl took his arm possessively as mates tend to do and started pulling him from the diner.  Somehow I felt a warning and looked blandly out the window just in time as I saw him turn my way out of the corner of my eye. He could have been looking at anything in my general direction, but my paranoia told me it was definitely me. He paused for the barest of seconds before he allowed his mate to lead him out of the door.

I took another pull from my tea, mentally berating myself for being such a creeper that he had noticed me watching them. I cringed into my mug, mildy mortified. This was not my night. If only one thing could go my way, it would be that Liam would be long gone by the time I returned home.

Not wanting to waste the kindness of the waitress and knowing I hadn't eaten much for the day, I finished what was left of my impulsive dessert and downed my tea. I hadn't expected much from this diner when I walked in, but the dessert and tea were good so I made a mental note to come back someday and eat a real meal here.

Looking around I nixed the idea, this place was probably forever going to remind me of how stupid I was and how messed up my life had become. Not to mention it was blindingly garish. I felt a weak headache coming on from all the floursecent lights and candy apple red decor. I set my fork down and hoped the couple had already disappeared so I wouldn't have to see them on my way out.

I grabbed the ticket and met the prompt waitress at the cash register. After paying my bill and adding a generous tip, I left the annoyingly bright oasis of the diner and melted back into the shadow of the night. All my problems lurking in the dark to haunt my mind on my surprisingly long walk home.