forget me not. [dreamnotfound] ✓

[ 8 ]

george perspective
warning: angst
* = footnote
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it has been a week since i moved into dream's neighbouring house. after that, we both sort of talked a little less. sure, i came over a few times but that was it. not much conversation passed between us when we spoke. he looked more drowsy than usual when i came over.

nightfall touched the empty state of florida, and i stared up at my ceiling.

i wish i didn't feel weird talking to him. i've known him for years! he would want to maintain our friendship- not toss that all away for my feelings for him.

you know, he probably doesn't even have a clue.

clueless dream... clueless dream.

who knows, maybe i'm in the wrong. 'soulmates can be platonic.'

'scared of falling for me?'

that's just it. fuck.
i'm scared of falling for you, clay.

heartbreak is the worst damn feeling and you're the last person i want to experience that from..

my head buzzed with thoughts. i knew i was falling- hard. for my best friend? i've hit rock bottom, haven't i? my brain felt like it was deteriorating. love was fucking stupid. curse whoever decided to make love real.

i tossed the blanket over my shoulders and mashed my face into my cold pillow, groaning frustratedly into it. bottling emotions as well as your pining love for somebody was a fruitless task. what was the point of this? i was going too fast. george, it's been a week.

i pictured it in my head: what it would be like if clay returned those ideas to me. it was unnervingly calming. maybe clay is the one. well, of course he is- he's my soulmate after all. were soulmates really designed this way? to be... 'platonic' as he put it? that felt like a straightforward way for him to tell me that he was not and would not ever be interested.

i'm too caught up in my head.
why won't these thoughts just stop? i don't want to think about him.

as if by command, the intrusive voice was swept away, and silence embraced the room. sleep began to daze me, and soon i was... back where i started. the hotel room.

"dream?" i said, glancing about. it was nighttime in the damp motel bedroom. he wasn't here. i picked up my phone. there was a notification.

dreamwastaken: come outside

i felt agitated. my heart sank into my stomach. something about this felt wrong. was that entire week just a conception in my head all along?

i grabbed my keys and almost tripped down the stairs from the pace i was running.
don't keep him waiting, george.

i swung the door open, and there we was. the tall, fitter blond standing there, hands in his hoodie pocket.

"dream." i panted, stepping closer to him, but stopping as i felt his hand on my sternum.*

"george. are you sick? you haven't answered my calls." clay's eyes bore into me.

"no...? i just went to sleep... or.. woke up. i'm not really sure. what's going on?" i inquired, pushing his arm off of my chest with a press to his wrist.

"you've been locked in your hotel room for a week now. you texted me asking me to come over because you had something to tell me, then i came, and you just... ignored me. i called you over and over again and you made me wait outside. not that i have an issue with that. i just want to make sure you're okay. what's the issue?" dream stated, tucking his beefy hands back into the sockets of his hoodie.

what the hell is he on about?

"dream, i thought we were soulmates. that's what was happening right? that's what this world was for?" i asked, and his face screwed up into a look of utter confusion.

"...what?" he scoffed, his eyebrows raising.

"do you have no clue what i'm even talking about?"
"honestly, not really george. did you hit your head or something? do you have a concussion? want me to take you to the hospital?"
"no, dream. i just said that we were soulmates and this... augh what am i even saying? you probably think i'm crazy." i mumbled.

he scoffed again, stepping back. "you're absolutely right. you've completely lost it. nick was right, then."
the name caught me off guard. "nick? sapnap?"
"yeah. he said you were mumbling on about how you were in love with me or something. guess he was right. you know i'm straight, right, george?" clay said, his tone revealing it all. he was disgusted with me. to know his best friend favoured him like that.

"w-what? no, of course not! i swear on it!" i lied, but those olive eyes saw through my thin facade. my heart was being squished as he looked at me with disapproval. "i'm sorry george- can't risk it buddy. we can't keep going."

the tears welled in the creases of my eyes. "dream, please. it isn't like that- why do you want to change what we had just because of something sapnap said?" blood rushed to my face, the stone in the back of my throat almost making it impossible to swallow my terror.

"sapnap said? you just said some shit about soulmates. like we would ever have that. go back to london. stop bothering me, and just... delete me everywhere. my number, hardblock me, i don't really give a shit. whatever it takes. i'm going home, george. it was.. nice knowing you- or whatever." dream turned, and the first tears dribbled down my lightly freckled cheeks.

"dream please-" i extended my weak, quaking arm, about to grasp onto his shoulder before he harshly swatted it away, hissing a final reply.
"sorry it came to this, but i don't need you. you fucking rely on me. you're such a damn burden."

my knees buckled, and i dropped to a pile of tears on the concrete, watching clay shamelessly walk away through unsteady, fuzzy sight.

he never needed you.

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a/n
hey :) cliffhanger. i have a special something planned for next chapter so stick around !!

sternum* = the middle of your chest (since you guys are freaking out about it hehe)