The Choosing

Panic

Sophie stepped back from the wall and wiped the moisture from her brow. Despite winter making itself well and truly known, the work still built up a sweat. She smiled in triumph at the cool grey wall in front of her. You never would have known that something despicable had happened. The dark tones concealing the brown stains that had been left behind. The people had been working tirelessly to repair the town. More and more people left the main house everyday, returning to their own newly repaired homes. 

"That looks nice" Thaddeus spoke from behind her. Sophie twirled with a grin on her face, proud of her work. The motion momentarily dazed him. Sophie looked over a Thaddeus, a tool belt hung low on his hips and he and another pack member were carrying the new carpet she had chosen for the lounge room. Fixing things had quickly become a coping mechanism for Sophie. There was something soothing about wiping away what had happened. About pretending that it hadn't happened at all. But it did happen, her mind protested. She pushed the thoughts away and instead followed Thaddeus and the pack member to the empty lounge. They rolled out the new carpet, a dark grey. 

"It's getting pretty gloomy in here." Elijah spoke, popping up behind Sophie. She turned on him with a scowl.

"What do you mean gloomy?" 

"Look around, Luna." He waved his hand in the air "You haven't put one light colour in this house. It's all grey and black and dark blue." Sophie sucked her lower lip into her mouth as she realised he was right. "Why is that Luna?"

"Elijah" Thaddeus snapped from the lounge. 

"Don't you start, you're enabling her. Letting her do all this instead helping her face her problems." Elijah snapped right back. 

"You can't see blood." Sophie whispered, realising for the first time what she had been doing all along. Every single repair she had made, she had replaced the yellows and whites with dark colours. "I'm doing it so you can't see the blood." Tears spilled over Sophie's eyes as she looked up at Elijah. The pain of the sixty-two spirits was gone, but hers was still there. It was still raw. Sophie could have sworn she saw regret on Elijah's face. She pushed past him anyway, bolting back to her bedroom like a dog with it's tail between it's  legs. 

Sophie barely shut the door before she fell to her knees. Her heart pounded in her chest, she could hear it's frantic thrum in her ears. She was sure that if it beat any faster, it might stop all together. Her breath was nothing more than short bursts of air, struggling to get in and out of her lungs. The room spun around her, Sophie couldn't get her bearings. Couldn't figure out which way was up. She was sure she would pass out any moment. It sure felt like she was going to pass out. 

"Easy," Thaddeus' voice swam into her ears. Barely audible over the sound of her heart. She felt his touch though. His warm hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. Even through her clothes she could feel his searing heat. His warmth wound it's way around her body, easing the thunder in her ears.

"That's it my love, just breathe." Thaddeus soothed. The world slowed around Sophie, allowing her back into her own mind. Thaddeus' other hand was pressed onto the back of her skull, he was cradling her as if she were a newborn. She pressed her face into Thaddeus' shirt, breathing deep. 

"You're okay" he hushed softly "we're okay." 

"We're okay," Sophie confirmed curling into him. She didn't fully believe it.  They were still out there, hiding. Recovering. Building up their numbers. For all they knew Bitten could come rolling down the hills all over again. Sophie couldn't do it. She couldn't bury any more of her people.

"We need to find them" Sophie voiced her fears out loud. Thaddeus' grip tightened, ever so slightly. "I want to see the maps again."

"Sophie," Thaddeus' voice was soft, disapproving. "You've looked. I've looked. There are scouts out there right now, looking." Sophie didn't say anything in response. She simply frowned up at him, gnawing her bottom lip. Thaddeus' jaw ticked and he glanced away from her. He let out a low huff.