Demi Lovato shorts

When she was mine

45 years. That's how long I got to hold her in my arms every night. How long I got to tell her I loved her everyday. We met in our 30s both out of old relationships and not looking for anything. We were introduced by mutual friends and instantly hit it off. I don't believe in love at first sight but with her I knew it had happened. Every date, every kiss, hug, smile, all belonged to me. And now she was nothing but a memory. A what had been. A picture left behind to remember the good times and the bad. I'm lucky that she was mine. My Demi. My love. My rock. She knew how to fix everything. She always fixed everything. We had 2 beautiful and intelligent kids. We joked how they didn't get their intelligence from her home schooled ass. But deep down I knew that both River and Hannah were exact copies of her and it made me love them even more. They way Hannah laughed just like her. Or the way Rivers chin moved as he spoke. Also the dimple on the chin. They both had that. I remember the absolute joy on Demi's face the minute they were born. Our beautiful twins born 3 and a half minutes a part. Both weighing 5lb 8oz and screaming blue murder until we held them tight in our arms. One each. As they grew so did we. We learned in the job. We had them late on in life. Demi being 35 and me being 40, but it was worth it. All the late night feeds, the diaper explosions and crying was worth it to see a smile, a giggle and their firsts. First word, first walk, first smile, first tooth. Everything was worth it. Having her by my side made sense. And now? She was just a memory. A side of the bed cold. Her pillow still smelled like her and I held it close and breathed deep, letting the tears fall fast down my cheeks. My heart was truly broken into millions of pieces. She wasn't supposed to go first. We had a deal. I couldn't live without her. I heard the door open and close downstairs. Knowing it would be Hannah I didn't bother moving. She knew where I would be. I hadn't moved in weeks. I couldn't. I had nothing to live for anymore. My Demi wasn't here. What was the point. Hannah slowly climbed into my side of the bed and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. So like her mother in every way, it hurt to see her face. She had grown into such a beautiful and strong woman. So independent and kind. She had been my rock but she knew that it wouldn't bring her back to me. She had been sick for. A long time. Complications they said, from her younger days. We cried for hours just holding each other. No more than a year they told us. She managed 3 more years before it took her from us. Kidneys and liver failed. Heart and lungs clinging to life. I kept her on the machine for 2 weeks. I couldn't let her go. I needed her here with me. With us. Our family. Our babies. I replayed every memory in my mind. Speaking to her as though she were awake and responding. Never leaving her side. I didn't eat, I barely slept. I just needed to make sure I was there holding her hand, I promised I'd never let go. On April 27th she left us. I screamed, I cried, I cursed everyone I could. I held my babies tighter than I've ever held anyone. So afraid they would leave me too. They were all I had now. They took care of me. Made sure I ate and slept. Take this, they told me. It'll help you sleep. It did. But once I woke up I'd remember she was gone and cry again. The funeral was the worst. The pity. God the pity in people's eyes. The endless sorrys and hugs. I couldn't take it. But I did. For her. For my Demi. My love. My everything. The house was so quiet. I hated it. I missed her laugh. Her giggle. Her goofy jokes. I watched old home movies of us. Of the kids. I smiled through the pain remember that for 45 years she was mine and I hers. Everyday gets somewhat better. I smile for the kids and the grandkids. My saviours. My Tommy and Alexis. Sam and Rhys. They'll always know the love their grammie had for them. For our family.

45 years. That's how long I got to hold her in my arms every night. How long I got to tell her I loved her everyday. How long she was mine and I hers.