When Koko finally decides to stop pushing upwards, she embraces the new lifestyle of an escort. Her clients were supposed to be 'really old and probably can't get it up' as Kiki described them, but Koko finds herself torn between conflicted feelings...
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Ayuba
I didn't remember a time when it wasn't like this. When the whole lodged in my insides, weren't so wide and threatening always to consume me.
The paper napkin between my fingers were more familiar to me than the dim lights and blues music wafting from the speakers.
I frowned at the thought. No, that's wrong. I did remember a time when it wasn't like this, a time when I could beat my chest and say I was happy in my marriage with my wife. I wouldn't have wanted it no other way. We had our baby on its way.
Until, we didn't.
Well, she did, not me.
The second time things weren't like this, we were cruising the islands in Cuba on a sun filled vacation. I was already a bit jaded then, but she wasn't. No she was hopeful.
Until she wasn't anymore.
So when I raised the glass of white wine and downed half its contents in one gulp, now, my eyes roved the face of my latest date. Not caring as much as I should, but still wondering, what did she see when she looked at me?
I was no fool, neither was I blind to a mirror. I knew what they all saw: a rich, handsome man in his late forties -who could pass for his thirties, as Lade would say.
A man my age and unmarried again -single, a la Lade-, I definitely wasn't allergic to women's company. In fact, I craved it. Wanted to feel the intimate heat emanating from another human body. Specifically, one where my blunt, hard parts were met with soft and yielding flesh.
You didn't give a man two tries at love and consensual human-to-human intimacies and not expect him to miss it.
I was a man who had had his tries at love. A man who had pushed it. But right now? Maybe, I was a man who would finally say to hell with it all.
'Can't say much for my ex, but..I bet he can't say much of me either...' my current date was saying, in between mouthfuls of her meal.
Judging from her accessories and the general cost of her appearance, I wouldn't say this was her first time in a three-star restaurant such as this. But still, she had praised just about everything... while I just sat here and smiled like intricacies of this date -such as location, for one- were all my idea.
