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i ran to the room i was familiar with most,
his.
i shut and locked the door behind me.
making sure nobody would get in.
i slowly slid down the door and sat on the ground
hot tears pouring down my cheeks
my mascara running again.
i looked around the room and noticed my clothes all still hanging up in the closet.
my shoes exactly where i left them on the rack
nothing changed.
i got up from the floor and walked around the room. i found exactly what i was looking for
my teddy bear.
thomas won it for me at the fair

i sat on it and buried my head into the soft fluff

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i sat on it and buried my head into the soft fluff.
my tears making the fur stick together in some places.
i heard a knock on the door.
i ignored it until they knocked again.
i slowly got off my teddy, and walked over to the door.
i unlocked it and opened it slightly.
it was addison.
she came in the room.
and immediately hugged me.
i started sobbing into her shoulder.
"it's ok tate," she said trying to comfort me.
i shook my head no and started to walk away when i saw him.
thomas came into the room, i dropped my keys and phone,
my knees felt weak, tears were pouring down my cheeks, my face red, my eyes stained black.
"tayt-"
"don't. don't say anything." i said bluntly.
"taytum please listen to him." addison said.
"no i can't." i said trying to walk away from the both of them.
thomas grabbed my hand.
"please." he said with glossy eyes.
i nodded and sat back on my teddy bear, this time facing forward.
thomas started to talk but i cut him off.
"i'm going first,"
they both nodded
"well i'll start from the beginning." i said looking down and fiddling with the rings on my fingers.
"i was sitting by the pool outside. thomas ran inside to grab the post mates."
i continued talking.
"everyone was out by the pool, and i was just tanning and waiting for you to come back." i said looking up at thomas.
i sighed and went on.
"jaden came over to me, we just started talking like usual and then he put his hand on my thigh! i told him that it wasn't right and i had a boyfriend. which he knew." i said now scratching my thigh.
"he said that you didn't need to know and then you came back outside." i said digging my nail deeper into my leg. now it hurting a little but i didn't care.
"i was crying and scared. his hand kept going higher and higher. then you said all those things to him. i was so happy. you had saved me. like a parent does when there is a a monster under the bed."
my thigh was bleeding but i didn't pay much attention to it.
"he said i came on to him! and i told you it wasn't true. but you just told me to go home. go home tate. you chose to believe him. you chose to believe the guy that basically sexually assaulted your girlfriend."
he looked at me with tears in his eyes.
"i had never felt so unwanted until that moment, i ran to my car, cried there. drove to my house. cried there. sat in my room for hours. cried there.
teagan has to ask me if i was ok."
"tea-" he started
"yea." i said harshly. "my two year old fucking sister had to ask me if i was ok, because i had to go. i had to go home and let my parents see me. i had to go home and let my sister who wants to be just like me when she grows up, she had to see me like that. a crying mess."
i looked down at my thigh.
"shit" i said to myself.
"i'm done." i said getting up.
"taytum, i'm sorry." thomas said looking at me.
i wanted to so bad say it's ok, and fall into his arms. i wanted to bad to stay here all day and just cuddle. i wanted so bad for things to go back the way they were only a week ago. but i couldn't. it wasn't ok, i wasn't ok. i cant just push my problems aside. i cant just pretend.

"no i'm sorry thomas, for letting you trick me into falling in love with you."

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