Bridged

Chapter 9

One long shower, two shots of coffee, and at least a thousand deep breaths later I was standing on Luke's porch. Casey had dropped me off with a quick squeeze of my hand telling me I'd be okay. She promised she'd be parked around the corner and promised she'd pick me up and take me home at any time. Now I just had to ring the doorbell and confront what I really didn't want to. There was no turning back, 1, 2, 3, go! Agh, but I still couldn't do it. Okay, this is it. I had no other choices; I was already at his door. As quickly as possible I rang the doorbell, immediately retracting my arm and taking a couple of steps back. The seconds ticked by, marked by my heartbeats I felt thumping in my ear.

There was no response. No one opened the door. I knew I was nervous so my sense of time was distorted but this was definitely a really long time. I contemplated ringing his doorbell again. Maybe he wasn't even home. Dammit. I probably shouldn't have come any-. The door swung open revealing a tall, blonde male that looked exactly like Luke but wasn't.

"Um, can I help you?" He asked, slightly confused as a to why this girl was standing on his porch. He looked behind me scoping the scene then turned back to me.

"I was just, um, I was just looking for Luke, is he, um, here?" I stuttered. Nice, Bridgette. Way to keep your cool.

"Oh yeah, hold on a sec." He pulled his head back into the house calling out for Luke. I heard the sound of footsteps thumping down the stairs and my heart rate accelerated. Moments later Luke appeared in the doorway and his doppelganger was gone.

"Luke, hey, you weren't answering your phone, and I really just wanted to talk to you if-"

"Look, don't bother, I'm kind of busy right now," He replied curtly, cutting me off. He moved to close the door, so I quickly stuck my hand out trying to keep the door open.

"Luke, just give me a minute!" I called out, but all too soon the door was closed. You've gotta be kidding me. Natural instincts overcame my reasoning, and I started knocking on the door.

"Luke, hear me out!" I called hoping he could hear me through the door as I continued knocking. "Luke, come on. I'm not going to leave until talk to me!" Shit. Why'd I say that?? He wasn't going to talk to me. Now I'd just be stuck here for hours because I sure as hell wasn't going to go back on my word. Sighing, I moved to sit on the porch steps. I pulled out my phone to tell Casey what had just happened. I wanted more than anything to go home and curl up in bed. I've never gone after a guy. They just sometimes come after me, but they stop as soon as they realize that I'm nothing more than a couple of texts, and they're quick to move on. I used to play it off as being too fast moving for a single boyfriend. It was kind of like a confidence thing, but in reality I quit when I got scared, and that was all the time. I tried to slow my breathing. Minutes passed and I knew the last thing I wanted was to get lost in thought because then I would just be a mess. I pulled out my phone again opening up a drawing app, willing my nerves to calm down.  

An hour or so later it was starting to get chilly, and I tugged on my sleeves, thankful that I had chosen a long sleeve shirt over a short sleeved one. I heard the door open behind me, and I quickly stood up, hopeful that Luke would talk to me. As I turned around though, it wasn't Luke, but his doppelganger. God dammit.

"Hey, um, do you wanna come inside or something?" He asked tentatively.

"No, no, that's okay," I replied chewing on my lip. Why wouldn't Luke just talk to me? "I'll just wait out here. He knows I'm still here right?" The guy nodded but as he began to say something else the door was pulled open even wider revealing Luke. The other guy took a couple steps back.

"I'll just be in the basement," He mumbled to Luke. Luke looked expressionless, then stepped outside the door facing me. He was wearing a black hoodie and athletic shorts, but he still looked amazing. I was frozen in place, not at all sure what to do now that I was face to face with Luke.

"Luke, I'm really-" I began but he cut me off. He seemed to have a habit of doing that.

"No don't apologize. You don't need to, you didn't do anything," He was still emotionless, and I took to biting my lip again. "I'm not mad." He continued firmly.

I didn't know what to say. Of course he was mad. He looked pissed. "I'm not with Ashton," I rushed out before he could cut me off again.

He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes softening slightly before quickly returning to their earlier composure. I let out a small breath relieved that I could get at least some response. "It's okay if you are. It's not we were together," Ouch. His clear blue eyes that once were so pretty were now piercing. It hurt to look at him. I knew he was right to say these things to me especially since I'd been turning him down.

"I'm sorry I haven't answered your texts. I haven't-" I had to fix this.

"I said you don't have to apologize," He replied, his jaw set.

"Goddammit, Luke, stop cutting me off!" I remembered what Ashton had told me about fear and risk and trying. The sun was starting to lower in the sky and air was kind of chilly and my heart was beating out of control. "It's not that I don't like you, cuz I really fucking like you. I'm not trying to run away from this, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm sorry, and I want to try again, but you have to know that," I realized I wasn't even looking at Luke but staring at his sneakers. I lifted my gaze, involuntarily closing my eyes before I could reach his. "I don't really do this kind of thing, and I don't know what to do, I'm just trying not to panic," I kept mumbling, stumbling through my words, still not opening my eyes.

"I really fucking like you, too." My eyes immediately opened. Luke wasn't smiling, he was biting on his lip ring, but his eyes were much softer. "Do you wanna come inside?"