The Boy I Love

Grind

He still wears his mask to matches, or really any time he's in public, but when he's in our room he takes it off. This makes me pretty happy, because it means he trusts me and feels comfortable with me, and it also gives me access to the rest of his face, so now I have more options when I want to kiss him (I make full use of this ability).

He doesn't say where the scars came from, and I don't ask. It's not that I think it would be too graphic to hear, it's that I think it would be too painful for him to tell, and I don't want him to think that he owes me an explanation at all.

Aside from that, things pretty much stay the same between us. I'm not complaining at all, of course, because the way things are between us is very enjoyable. We're both still in the tournament, though, which is a little annoying and also a little concerning, because I really don't want to have to wrestle him. I don't want to have to beat him, but I don't want to let him win. And everyone seems to think that I have this in the bag, aside from the threat of Leo. Which is a lot of pressure. Coach Turner, my friends, everyone else from my club, plus the idea of my parents (I kind of want to win just to see if they'll wish that they'd been here to watch me, and hopefully then they'd come next time).

Thankfully, though, I'm not looking at a match against Leo for a while. We're on opposing sides of the listings, so we'd both have to make it all the way to the finals to actually have to play each other. Which is a concern in itself, and probably means even more pressure if that does happen, but the probability is low.

Vick, unfortunately, is looking at a match against Leo tomorrow if they both win their matches today. And neither of them really looks like they're going to lose today- their opponents have both kind of been scraping by.

Fortunately, neither of them mention it (to me, anyways). I'm very grateful that Vick doesn't ask for 'information on Leo' to help in his match, though I didn't think he would. I'm also happy when I realize that he hasn't asked me if I'm feeding Leo information either, because I have no doubt that if Nick knew that my relationship with Leo is a little more intimate than just being roommates, he might accuse me of doing that. I would never, of course- and Leo would never ask- but after I refused to help Nick, he's been a little suspicious of me. Vick is thankfully not (possibly because he's better informed).

I go to both of their matches. Both of them win. It's no surprise, but it still doesn't make me feel fantastic. I don't want all my friends to hate Leo for ruining their chances at winning this tournament. And even though Vick probably wouldn't be super pissed, it's not ideal that he's either going to beat or be beaten by the guy I'm kissing.

Leo and I spend the night innocently cuddling as well as heatedly making out, and Vick and I play billiards and work out together and talk about random, unrelated-to-tournament things. It's definitely a relief. I can only hope that nothing is changed by tomorrow's match.

I almost don't go. I don't know who I'd actually want to win. Maybe Vick, because then my friends would be significantly friendlier to Leo? Or Leo, because he's said this tournament is really important to him (and I have a feeling that's not just because of bragging rights)?

Of course, I do go to the match. It'd be suspicious if I didn't, and I need to know what happens.

It's weird to see Leo with his mask again. I've gotten used to seeing his face now, it's odd to see the black mask over his head instead (we've stopped going to each other's matches recently, so I haven't seen him wear it for a while).

It's also weird to see him facing off against my best friend in the ring. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit jealous when the match started- not for any reason except how close they were (the thought that he's been this close to other guys as well when I wasn't present isn't particularly enjoyable either). I satisfy myself by thinking about making out with Leo tonight, then quickly focus back on the match to avoid having any problems in public.