The Boy I Love

Breaking Kayfabe

After my talk with Vick, I go back to my room, having lost the momentum to keep working out. Leo's in the bathroom, so I gather my stuff. When he comes out, he gives me a sad smile. "Hey."

"Hi." I shift my stuff to one arm so I can put the other around his waist and bring him closer. I touch my forehead to his, closing my eyes and exhaling slowly. He cups my cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

"Is this about...?"

I nod a little, squeezing my eyes shut as they start to burn with tears. It feels so, so wrong to take this win away from him. He's worked hard, he deserves it, and he needs the money. I definitely don't need the money. My parents may never be home, but whatever business is keeping them away certainly pays well. And the only thing I can think about is how badly I want him to get away from wherever he's living now. My heart, my entire chest, hurts so badly whenever I even begin to think about how he got those scars.

"Tyler," he says in a quiet, soothing voice. "It's okay. This is what I want. And I'll be fine, because there's a cash prize for second as well, so I'll get something either way. Don't worry about it."

I don't respond. I checked out the cash prizes for first and second: second gets exactly half of the amount of money that goes to first. Which means that he'd have double the amount of money if he got first than if he got second. And it's a significant enough amount that that difference is not trivial.

"It'll be fine, Tyler. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it."

A tear slips out, and then two more. I release a shaky breath. "Yeah. Okay."

He brushes the tears away and puts both arms around my neck. "Tyler," he whispers quietly. "Don't worry." He nudges my nose with his, and my chest hurts even more- if I win that tournament, I'll be essentially taking money away from Leo- money that this beautiful, sweet boy in front of me needs. I let out a choked sob, and he pushes everything I'm holding out of my arms, hugging me tightly. I bury my face in his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his waist as firmly as I can.

"Leo, I can't..." I whisper between sobs, and he stiffens.

"Tyler. Don't do that. We agreed on this yesterday. It's what I want. This is how I want it to go."

I shake my head a little. "Leo... you can't ask me to..."

He pulls away a little and looks me directly in the eyes. "I can and I am. I want it this way. I don't want you to let me win, Tyler."

"But you'll let me win?"

"No. We talked about this. We said we won't avoid getting pinned. Either of us could win."

"I shouldn't win, though. I don't need it," I whisper.

He shakes his head firmly. "I don't want you to let me win. If you have any respect for me, you won't try to throw the final match tomorrow."

"Of course I respect you, Leo."

"Good. Then stop thinking about it."

I sigh and nod, and he wraps his arms around me again, embracing me tightly. I hold him close to my chest and try to put it out of my mind.

Eventually, I do end up showering, where I cry more (but silently, this time) before finally scrubbing my face clean of all evidence of tears and getting out. We spend the night cuddling in his bed. We might watch Big Bang Theory, but I'm not focusing on it. I'm sure he notices that I'm holding him more tightly than usual, but he doesn't bring it up again.

I fall asleep in his bed, with him curled up to my chest. In the morning, we both get up and decide to go our separate ways until the match (we don't explicitly say it, but I'm pretty sure it's so that I don't break down again). He leaves, and I stay in our room for a little longer to try and compose myself before going outside.