Darkest Desire (18+)

A MOURN ME TO BED

My father hugs my body as we lay on the sofa his soft hands brushing through my hair.
"Today will be hard Lela but we can do it" my father whispers to me kissing my forehead as I lay back to him silence in the room.
It had been just over a week and a half since the "robbery" I was questioned by the police and told them the story I didn't see what happened only heard I was showering when I heard the loud noises then saw my brothers dead body.
The kitchen knife had mine and dads and Davies prints on.
So they couldn't know it was me
And they never did.........

My father has been by my side since always home at night now and is always caring about me now.
The funeral is today and I am happy so ready to get this over with I feel so much pain I need to get the pain gone and go back to my life.
Davies was my soul mate and I really did love him I will always need him as my brother but he should of loved me back......
I look through the living room and see hundreds of flowers something I didn't notice.
"Dad who got all the flowers" I sigh now standing up looking through all the flowers seeing notes on many.
"Just family and friends sweetheart people who love us" my father says hugging me before leaving to get changed upstairs.
I go through the whole house scanning at all the different flowers till my hands stop.
"So sorry for your loss we are always here,
Lorenzo and family"
I smile knowing Lorenzo was the one who sent the flowers the huge flowers standing much more out than others.
I kiss the note before placing it back in the flowers.

I bleach my body again I have done this most times when showering now I still feel like I need to get my brother off me.
I need to forget the memory and move on.
Because if I forgot the night I killed him.
Then I never did it........
Because I didn't do it because I wanted to it's because I needed to.
I set out my black dress I have always wanted to wear it it's stunning and so classy.
Davies always said how beautiful it would be on me.
I slowly walk downstairs to hear my father sobbing in his hands his whole body shaking as he sobs I know he is crying alone as he doesn't want me to see I have often heard my father cry this week mainly once I am asleep I hear him at night in Davies room.
I wipe my cheek before making my presence clear as my father wipes his face.
"You okay my love" he says with a soft voice kissing my cheek
"You look gorgeous" my father says standing back and looking at me I smile before me hold hands getting ready to leave.

The venue was small not many people I don't remember many who came I don't remember much at all I just remember my father always holding me close I felt his eyes touch my cheek.
I didn't cry I just watched his black coffin fall into the ground I watched everyone around me sob head all done silence in the garden of the church. I remember placing the flowers to the coffin.
"You can't change can you Lela" Davies words falling in my head when I walk away no emotion I don't stop or say anything.
I have nothing to say.......

Once leaving is when I notice people hugging my father and me giving flowers and saying there apology's.
I shake so many hands hug so many people.
Yet I still feel nothing......
Till I feel his touch his arm wrapped around my waist his cologne strong in my nose.
"We are so sorry for your loss" Sarahs soft cry as a tear falls down her face and she embraces me my father then kissing her cheek.
"If you ever need anything you know you can call" Sarah says to my dad he smiles embracing her again she has such a sweet tone.
Lorenzo and my father hug just before leaving my father keeping a strong hold of himself I can see how drained he is.
Lorenzo hugs me once again before leaving holding me closer
"You can ring me if you need anything or nothing at all" Lorenzo whispers in my ear before I nod and smile at him his hand squeezing my forearm before he takes Sarah's hand and they leave.
I watch as he walks away the beautiful sway in his walk everything about him is so beautiful to me I would do anything for him.
I haven't known him long but I know he is mine.

My father didn't want anything after the funeral and thankfully I felt the same I couldn't deal with everyone feeling sad for me.
Yes I was sad but I needed this day to be over.
I lay in bed my body smelling of bleach after my final bath with it finally taking everything off me all guilt and regret gone.
The light from the sun shines down on my arm as it sparkles as the bracelets Lorenzo got me shine.
12:30am I am sigh seeing the time and walk over to my phone.

Hey are you awake? I need to speak to you x

Yes I am you okay I know today was hard for you! What's up baby? X

It was horrible thank you for coming!
Can I see you tonight I am feeling so alone with everything happening I just need you! You are the only person who understands being alone! Xx

It takes Lorenzo longer to answer I sit back on the bed starting at the screen I haven't been alone with him since the incident with my brother.
Part of me didn't want to see Lorenzo after what happened that's why I didn't luckily I had the excuse of my brothers death but seeing Lorenzo reminded me why I killed him.
For him.......

It's late Lela.......
I will book a hotel Sam is home so you can't come here and your father is home I will tell her I am going out to do late night photos.
Meet me down by the park in 20 minutes.
L xx

I jump from my bed and get a bag and throw random clothes in. I glance at myself in the mirror and sigh I need to look for sad.
I put mascara on a rub it on my eyes I need him to think I was really sad and needed him.
Walking into the park it's all so dark the only light from the streets.
Till I see Lorenzo flash the car lights I walk over to him where he opens the door for me.
"God Lela are you okay" he says getting into his seat before looking at my eyes I pout a sad face at him.
"It's just been so hard for him seeing my dead brothers body knowing he frighted for him" I fake sob looking out of the car window.
Lorenzo arm falling to my thigh as he rubs it so gently.
"I just needed to see you it's been so hard not having you close" i say facing Lorenzo as he wipes away my tears his soft smile.
"Hey you know you always have me I missed you too baby" he says his fingers tracing over my lips.
"Will you take the pain away Lorenzo" I say before straddling his lap.
"Lela you are not thinking straight right now it's all the emotions of your brother" Lorenzo panics as I kiss his neck. I roll my eyes god I am trying to fuck him and he has to bring my dead brother up.

He doesn't hold me but he doesn't stop me this is how I know Lorenzo will always want me one phone call and he is straight there.
"Lorenzo I am okay" I say looking at him smiling his hands playing with strands of my hair.
"I know more than anything right now I need you inside me" I moan into his ear knowing that's all it takes till the silence of the park is filled with pure bills of our moans.

I am so sorry for taking so long to add another chapter I have been so busy and didn't have any backed up chapters!
Hope you enjoyed I love seeing all your comments!
Xoxox