right here :: irwin [on hold]

0.3

song of the chapter: taylor swift - bad blood

☀☀☀

i don't know how much time has passed, but i'm still sitting on the floor, motionless. i can't believe oliver would just leave me like that.

my mind goes back to his letter. one of the things i'm trying to comprehend.

dear isis,

you might have already figured it out, but i left. and i took all my things with me. i'm not going to give you the reason why, because i don't want you to know. call me an asshole, but i also have my rights, and i don't want to tell you.

i know you can go on without me. you're a strong girl. i hope you can manage to pay for the apartment, though. might be a bit harder now that i'm gone.

i know i sound like a dickhead, but this way it's easier for you to move on, because you hate me. that's pretty smart from me, right?

don't miss me to much. i love you, i really do. i just couldn't stay.

love, oliver

nothing is crossed out, or written again. like he didn't have to think twice about how he wanted to tell me that he left me. this letter makes him seem like some complete son of a bitch, when he isn't. i have never seen this side of him. it just- this doesn't sound like him.

could it be that he was kidnapped, and that he was forced to write this? no, that doesn't make sense. why would someone kidnap oliver, i mean as far as i know he isn't an extremely important person. except to me.

abruptly i stand up. i haven't allowed myself to cry yet. and i'm not going to. i'm strong, just like ollie said, and i'm going to do something about this. i'm going to look for him.

i stumble on my feet as i walk to the hall as fast as i can. i throw on my jacket and run out the door, but then realizing i have to run back, because i didn't lock it.

we (or should i say i) don't have a car, so i guess i'm just going to walk through the whole town. hooray for physical exercises. not.

i decide that the music store oliver works is a good first place to look for him. maybe he forgot to get his last paycheck before he left? oliver is a person to go back just for that. he loves money. too bad we never had much.

with my hands stuffed deep inside my pockets i start walking in the store's direction. it's approximately 7:30 pm right now, and the store closes at 8 (don't ask me why, no one even goes there in the evening but apparently oliver's boss doesn't mind), i think, so that gives me just enough time. it's an fifteen minute walk, at least that's what oliver told me.

slightly shivering and with cheeks red from the cold, i reach the store, indeed, fifteen minutes later. the lights are still on, so that's a good sign.

i push the door open and a bell rings, to indicate the 'staff' someone has entered. i take a few steps into the small shop, but as far as i can see, nobody's here.

"hello?" i say loudly, stretching out the 'o'. no answer.

"anybody here?" i say, even louder, while slowly walking towards the door that says 'staff only'.

when there's still no answer, i cautiously knock on the staff room's door. i lay my ear against it and listen. i think i hear some muffled groans, but it could also be my mind playing tricks on me. i listen a second time and now i hear them more clearly. oh my god, what if some one is being beaten up in there?

with that thought, i quickly throw open the door. isis to the rescue.

...or not. because instead of someone being beaten, i see something even less swell to witness. oliver's boss (well, i think that's him) is wanking in the staff room. i let out a small scream and put my hands over my eyes. i'd rather not see a stranger's dick.