This scene opens in a grassy plain. In case you didn't remember, the Dork Brotherhood has one of the 7 so-called "Chaos Emeralds", and are searching for the others.
Baus: So... does anyone know where the second Emerald is?
Dex: Nah, I just figured out that if we get 50 rings and make it to the goal, we can just jump into the giant ring.
Baus does the anime flop after hearing that.
Baus: Dex, everyone knows that S1 special stages suck donkey dick!
Director: Bro, stop simping for the S2 special stages. They won't sleep with you.
Baus: I guess I could say the same thing about your Gardevoir simping as well.
Director: I guess I could say the same thing about your Princess Peach simping too.
Baus does a sharp inhale, raising his finger. Then he lets out a nasal sigh of defeat, because he knows he lost the round.
Fenn: Wait, speaking of Peach, I think I know where we are right now!
Around them stood numerous amounts of mushroom shaped houses, not unlike the ones you'd see in some Nintendo game. The toad in front of them had a shiny stone in their back pocket as the fungal familiars were walking around doing their daily business, it reminded Fenn of a setting from an all-too-familiar franchise.
Fenn: Oh my, we're in THE Mushroom Kingdom!
Baus: Wait, then that means-
Everyone: Don't get any funny ideas, Baus.
Baus: I don't see how funny the ideas are, I am trying to be completely serious here!
As soon as the four "heroes" move on forward, they are randomly and automatically apprehended with no caution at all!
Toad Guard 1: As a Mushroom Kingdom Royal Guard, you're under arrest!
Toad Guard 2: Put your hands where we can see them!
As what a fox would usually do with their offensive and twisted humor, Fenn smugly lowers his arms to his sides. Probably as an insult to how short the Toads really are. Baus thought to himself, "Fuck you, man. Some of my best friends are Toads!"
Baus: Dammit, why'd I have to be black?!
Toad Guard 1: DID HE SAY BLACK?!
Toad Guard 2: SHOOT HIM! HE'S BLACK!
Baus: FUCK WAIT, PLEASE AUTHOR, DO A JUMPCUT!
Okay fine... but only because your name is in the title, sheesh.
(5 minutes later, in the Mushroom Kingdom Throne Room...)
Princess Peach: You four have been brought to trial on charges of first-degree murder, and for being black. What do you say in your defense?
Everyone starts to do another anger-hinted glare at Baus, because he was black and caused the rest of the gang to be in trouble.
With no one having the balls to speak, Dex was the first one to sit in the hot seat. He so hesitantly says...
Dex: Your Majesty, we just got here. We didn't do anything unless you count that gay vampire.
Princess Peach: You mean Dio? Eh, fuck 'em! He sucked almost all of my people dry!
Dex: In the gay way or the vampire way?
Princess Peach: Yes!
Toad Guard 1: But here's the damning evidence! Which is this shiny rock one of the peasants had!
Baus: H-hey! I might be black but I'm not a peasant!
Toad Guard 1: There's a difference?
Toad Guard 2: Quiet, scum! You're in the Holy room of your Majesty, don't ever be so disrespectful!
One of the Toad Guards proceeds to forcefully take the shiny cyan colored Emerald from Baus' hand, and presented it to the princess in a royal fashion.
Princess Peach: Oh? Well, let's look at the CCTV footage of this crime here.
The footage proceeds to show a blurred figure hacking and slashing, but the shiny Emerald is clear and bright as day.
Peach: The colors of these so called, "Chaos Emeralds" don't match up! While this one here is cyan, the one in the footage is turquoise!
Fenn: But... aren't those the same color?
Fenn said in a very sarcastic and moody tone.
Peach: Death.
Women, am I right?*
But seriously, let's continue the story.
Peach: These "Chaos Emeralds" aren't the same color!
Fenn: Color? I hardly even knew her!
The stereotypical sitcom laugh soundtrack starts to play again.
(Note from the second writer, 2Tails1Beat: I hate this joke so much, why is my fursona even saying this?)
(Note from BausOfBacon: I dunno. I just wanted to include the line. Besides, why not?)
Peach: While this one here is Cyan, the one in the footage is Blue!
One of the Toad Guards looks down on the floor in shameful embarrassment.
Toad Guard 1: Um... Well... I... Uh... Er...
What is this Toad Guard hiding?
What's going on with that Prize Bubble from Chapter 1?
Will Baus get any funny ideas?
Why do my balls itch?
Why do I pee when I poop but don't poop when I pee?
Why is the 25th letter of the alphabet?
Some of these questions will be answered next time on Baus Chronicles: The Dork Brotherhood!
???: Wait, that last one wasn't even a question! Who the hell is writing this!
2Tails1Beat: Uh... you are? I am just the editor, bro.
BausOfBacon: Oh dammit, I am... fuck, I am really fucking stupid.
*= This statement is sarcastic. I have no problem with women.
END OF CHAPTER 2
YOU ARE READING
Baus Chronicles: The Dork Brotherhood
Humor(Co-written by 2Tails1Beat) Baus, Director, Dex, and Fenn go on wacky adventures to find the 7 Chaos Emeralds! From unobtainable prize bubbles to kicking a 100-year-old vampire in the balls, anything is possible on this journey!
