Baus Chronicles: The Dork Brotherhood

Chapter 4: Setting out for the Casino!

Chapter 4 Revisions
Setting Out for the Casino!

The last time we checked up on our epic gamers, they were in the throne room of Princess Peach’s castle.
They sat around there being eerily quiet, as Princess Peach puts her fingers under her chin as she starts to mutter and think to herself…

Peach: Hmm… is this the two-tailed kid I’ve been hearing about… is it… the fabled Horny Guy?

Princess Peach stops thinking and loudly sputters the words out of her mouth in a royal fashion, grabbing the four’s attention.

Peach: I give my gratitude for taking care of that awfully racist toad. I am quite ashamed that there was such people as my royal guards.

Baus gets in a cocky stance, rubbing his left shoulder with his right arm.

Baus: Eh, it was nothing!

Baus slouches immediately after the stance due to how dizzy he is, so he rotates his head smoothly around the neck. With a popping chest as he tries to hold in his vomit so he won’t look weak in front of the Princess.

Baus: Though… it gave me extreme motion sickness, that’s all…
Dex: Oh boy…
Fenn: Why would you do such a move when you haven’t conquered motion sickness!
Baus: It’s not my fault! I didn’t have any time to train myself for it… but you have to admit, Fenn. That was a badass move, I dare say.
Fenn: I do agree, but be prepared next time. I don’t want vomit touching my white fur, alright?
Dex: Can we not do this in front of a royal figure?
Fenn: Err… right.

Director shakes his head out of utter annoyance because of the stupid conversation that just took place between Fenn and Baus.

Director: But anyways… do you happen to know anything about these so-called… “Chaos Emeralds”?
Peach: As a matter of fact, I actually do!

Fenn does a smug face and quietly mutters…

Fenn: Oh, so you finally say something smart…

Baus overheard Fenn and nudges his elbow, giving him a mental signal to stop doing such comments.

Peach: I am pretty sure you haven’t acknowledged yet, but my royal scientists have finished a radar that will scout the other 6 “Chaos Emeralds”.

Princess Peach gracefully walks up to Dex to hand the Cyan Emerald to him. Dex holds the Emerald up to his eyes, trying to observe closely.
Baus twitches his hands, and rubs his fingers together. As a sign that he is trying to hold back his words… he frantically thinks to himself…

Baus: Don’t say something horny.
Baus: Don’t say something horny…
Baus: Please for the love of Peach thighs DON’T SAY SOMRTHING HORNY!

Baus, breaking the silence loud and clear.

Baus: Please sit on my face.

Baus realizes what he just said, and closes his mouth with his two hands and looks down on the floor, wide eyed and seriously red from embarrassment. He thinks to himself again…

Baus: FUCKING DAMMIT!

From that random comment, everyone looks at Baus with a disgusted or confused look. Except Fenn, because he is giving a look that is trying to hold back laughter.

Dex: Bruh.
Fenn: Bruh.
Director: Bruh.
Toad Guard 2: Hot.

The attention quickly shifted from Baus to the Toad Guard, as he stands there proud from his comment.

Toad Guard 2: What? I stand by what I said, I have no shame in myself.

Fenn gets droopy ears from hearing that, and slouches deeply as his hands gets dead weight.

Fenn: You should be ashamed of that…

Peach thinks to herself…

Peach: Okay… maybe that… kid is actually the Horny Guy. Only time will tell, though.

Peach clears her throat, and the attention quickly transported back to her. Baus embarrassingly looks up from the floor…

Peach: Anyways, here is the Scouter that you’ll need to find the rest of these “Chaos Emeralds”.

Peach walks up to Director, as she gives the Scouter very carefully to him. Peach backs up from Director as he turns on the Scouter with the obviously red “ON” button.
The scouter turns on with some green screen and a grid-like chart, along with a beeping pattern.
In a matter of few seconds, the Scouter sends a high pitched beep, showing the location for the next Chaos Emerald. Everyone gathered around Director, observing the green screen.

Director: So this thing is telling me that the next Emerald… is going to be in the Casino Night Area?
Baus: Don’t you mean the Cosmic Casino?
Fenn: Ugh, you say it like Sonic Pocket Adventure is still relevant, Baus.
Baus: Oh shut up, fox boy.
Dex: Mm… don’t you think there is going to be any Gadget-themed slot machines?
Fenn: Hey, if there is going to be any type of gambling going on, then I am going to dive in first with Texas Hold ‘Em.
Dex: But aren’t you like… 15?
Fenn: Shh… I am tall enough to look like an 18 year old.
Dex: Dude, you’re 5’8’’.
Fenn: Still! I’ve seen some pretty short 18 year olds.
Baus: Can we just go to the Casino already? Damn.

And so, our four heroes set out to the Casino Night Area.

Baus: Hey, what would happen if you removed the ‘S’ and the ‘D’ from the name, “Speed Racer”?
Director: That’d be pretty based, my guy.
Dex: Oh my god Baus, shut up.
Fenn: Speed Racer… I…
Fenn: I hardly even know why that joke is funny in general. Like, what the hell is so funny about it? I wouldn’t even “hardly know” any woman, I’m fucking gay!

(2Tails: I am going to eat that ass of yours, Baus.)

Baus: Hi “fucking gay”, I’m Baus!
Fenn: One more joke like that and I am going to beat you to death and throw your body to the casino’s trash bin.
Baus: Jeez, no need to be a party pooper.

Then suddenly, a random voice was heard in the far distance. Not even Fenn could detect where it’s coming from, so it stopped all of them to stop walking as they quickly dash their eyes around their current location, trying to find anything suspicious.

???: Hahaha… allow me to introduce…
Baus: Oh god, oh fuck. It’s a bunch of question marks, I am SOOOOOO scared right now.
???: Hey! You do know this isn’t permanent, I’ll be introduced in the next chapter when your lazy ass gets to writing it! Fenn waited a while for you to submit this chapter, asshole!
Fenn: Well, he is right about that.
Baus: Whatever!

Why is this asshole breaking the fourth wall?
Who even are they?
Will I ever repair the fourth wall?
Is the “hardly knew her” jokes actually as unfunny as Fenn says?
What socioeconomic factors led to the Industrial Revolution?

Some of these questions will be answered in the next chapter of…
Baus Chronicles: The Dork Brotherhood!

But seriously… can someone answer that last one? I need it for my History exam.

2Tails: I think what led to Industrial Revolution is capitalism, European imperialism, efforts to mine coal, and the effects of the Agricultural Revolution.
BausOfBacon: Thank you!