A Change (of fate)

Morning

I woke up the next morning, my back was what woke me up, as it was causing me a bit of pain, then someone kicked me where my back was already sore.
"Ow! What-?"
I turned around to the direction of the kick and saw two furry feet. I gradually looked upwards and found Carries face on top.
I didn't realise it was her at the start, as she was wearing clothes that I didn't think she would ever wear. She wasn't wearing her usual sports bra and shorts. She was wearing a light pink knitted sweater, with sleeves that reached over her hands. She was also wearing long dark blue trackies. It was almost like she was wearing clothing to intentionally make herself look cute.
"What are you wearing?"
"Shut up, they're the only clothes I have access to so that the marks are covered! What are you still doing here anyway?"
"I, I felt horrible for what I-"
"Cut the crap, I can't be bothered listening to you like that anymore"
"Okay?"
"I'm getting breakfast, you can join me if your able get off the floor"
"Right"
It half sounded as if she wanted me to come, and I thought I may as well get breakfast too.
"Make sure you're wearing your collar then"
A weird request, but I was planning on wearing it anyway.
When I entered our bedroom Chelsea was still asleep, I made sure not to wake her up as I quietly grabbed my collar and left the room again.
When I eventually made it to the kitchen after putting on my collar, I saw Carrie there, already eating.
"So why do I have to wear this again?"
"It's unfair if I'm forced to look cute and you're not" she said as she pulled out the seat next to her, a bowel of cereal was already there.
"Did you get breakfast for me?" I asked as I sat down.
"Yeah, so?"
"Thanks"
"Don't mention it" Carrie was speaking in a very monotone voice, she wasn't showing any sort of emotion with her words, I felt like I may have broken her the night before.
"Carrie, look. I'm sorry ab-"
"James,"
"Just let me finish! Carrie, I'm sorry about what happened during dinner, I really am. And I'm sorry that I didn't take into consideration why you wouldn't show your other arm, I didn't mean to cause the hurt which I did"
"Th-thanks, but it wasn't really your fault"
Her voice began to sound more human now, as I believe she was letting her emotions back.
"How so?"
"You won't stop feeling terrible if I don't explain. So, despite how much I don't want to let you know, I feel like I must." She took a deep breath, and, without looking at me, began to explain.
"I told you last night how I stayed back and listened to the rest of the conversation the three of you had. I felt rubbish about myself that I put you in such a position, as it wasn't right for me to have left the way I did, I just- uh. I was already crying in hatred at myself by the time I made it to my room, I found a blade from a spare razor in the bathroom and just started- slashing my arms!" she was in tears now, she wasn't gushing out like a three year old who had their candy taken from them, it was just a tear at a time, slowly spaced out, which was a lot for her. Try and look tough as she might, she was vulnerable just like everyone else.
"That wasn't it though" with her tightly closed fists on the table, she was stiff, overflowing with dissapointment and teetering on the verge of depression. I slowly embraced her in a hug, which I'm not even sure she noticed.
"Once I'd cut every inch of my arms it wasn't enough! I, I removed all of my clothes and started cutting the rest of me."
"But Carrie, do you know why?"
She quickly pulled away from my embrace saying, "I already told you! I felt horrible for making you feel horrible!"
"But why? We hardly know each other"
"Th-that's true" she said, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater, "But I, in a way, lied to you"
"But, it's just me"
"You're not just you James! You're so much more. And to be honest, if you were smart enough you would have figured out the problem anyway"
She then rose from where she was seated, and left the kitchen, telling me on her way out that "You're not to tell either Guy or Chelsea about last night or what I've told you this morning!"
"Hm. Alright" I responded, but she was already gone.