Safe Blood | English translation

5. NADA

Third Consultation Session of Dr. Alfred Jones Psychology Office November 28th

The door opened and alfred got out of his room.

There was no sense in his damn face.

No worries, no happiness ... exactly like a marble statue

DR : I give you some time to talk

His hand showed me inside the room
I got up from the chair, like the negative energy came from all directions.

The strong tremors in my knees spread the feeling of weakness like poison in me.

I was afraid
My heart beat faster
I could feel it under my throat.

I walked to that horror tunnel
For me, was like a thousand miles walk
Far away , very vague

My high heels seem to sink into my head every step of the way
my temples was beating and pumping blood from the heart, was sharing the pain in my body

I got into the room and...zayn was sitting on a chair.

There was no need to think about it.
Only by seeing the shape of his body could say that he was thinking in the worst possible way.

My hopeless eyes were burning and his image was fading.

it seemed like he didn't notice my presence in the room or he did.

M : zayn

Z : how could you ?

His voice was deeper than ever. He was angry and broken.

My tears began to fall ، I could hardly breathe

Z : you....you...

I know he's shocked

Z : wow...who are you ?????
HIV????
how did you hide this? How could you have allowed yourself to play my life?
Why did you take me to this game?
Who the hell did i break up my engagement for??
A selfish person? A deceiver? A liar? What? What ?? Damn what should I call you ?? What ??

I was struggling for a bit of air.

Z : Do you have anything to say, Murph? It's weird if you do Damn ... Every time I kissed you, I seemed to welcome death

He didn't let me talk or defend ، he refused the protest
He pulled out The red petals of my being and the pain is equal to pulling the nails out of your flesh.

I raised my trembling hand and silenced him

M : You were there when I didn't let you to kiss me
I didn't let you use my towel or my glass even though it wasn't dangerous for you, I was careful.
Even more than myself because I love you

I shouted and cried. I pulled my hair. I knocked on the sofa in front of me.

I saw ... I've seen my life blurry ... I've seen my future blurry

Z : But when I was under pressure, I needed all of this.

He shouted and I shivered

M : You know..It's not my fault..you know better than anyone else..I'm wa......

Z : shhhhh ... whatever you said that's enough. There's nothing left here. Murphy, Pray for me not to be sick Otherwise, I swear to God that I will destroy you and wipe your fucking existanse

I was crying and shivering

Like a 4-year-old child who lost her mother at a Brazilian festival and is suffocating in the crowd

He passed me and my hands gravitated to his.

I stood in front of him and looked him in the eye.

No I...I would not be alive without him.

M : i know ..i know .. i was selfish
but that was because of my love for you

When i looked at him in the eyes , hate was obvious

He took a step back to get away from me
and wanted to pass me
My knees could not bear another flick
I fell to the ground and put my hands on his knees

M : zayn please ... please ... i'm sorry ...i'm sorry...please...i beg you...don't do this to me ... i beg you...you are my whole life...don't do this to me

I leaned my head against his leg and groaned

Z : I just hope you hadn't turned my life to a ticking bomb you bastard

He pulled his foot and my body fell to the ground helplessly
There's nothing left for me
.
.

It's over........
.
.

I was like a corpse that had been shot in the brain and was drowning in its own blood.

My body was trembling slowly.

It was like I was in a frozen lake at the South Pole, and all parts of my body were frozen.

And then.....

The sound of my laughter filled the room
God...i'm talking to you...do you hear !? How are you now?

M : Are you happy now?????

I shouted and the laughter turned into groan and the groan turned into sob and sob turned into piped down