573 Alpha ~A.R.

Fucked Up

The past couple of weeks have been miserable, but the rest of them don't know that. The other have gotten really close to Alejandro and the boys, but I've been keeping my distance. I don't need any distractions. It is currently three in the morning and I am just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling with tears flowing out of my eyes. The only sound being my soft sobs and hiccups that occasionally escape my mouth. I hear someone knock on my window and look over to see Alejandro, sitting on the roof under it. I quickly wipe my eyes and walk over, opening the window.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper. He stares at my face and cups it with his hands.

"Were you crying?" He asks. I shake my head a little, but he doesn't buy it.

"What's wrong?" He asks, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. I pull out of his grip and wipe my eyes again.

"Nothing." I say. He sighs, pulling me over to the bed and sitting down. He pulls me into his lap and stares at me.

"Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have to hide their pain. You are risking a lot to help me and my friends, please just let me help you." He says. I sit silent. Where do I start? I'm broken beyond repair because of my constant need to prove that I have what it takes to be where I am. The voice in the back of my head convincing me that I will never be good enough. How do I tell someone that? How do you ease into a conversation like that?

"Raylynn?" He says, lifting my chin. I sigh as another tear falls down my face.

"I don't know how to do this." I admit, looking away from him. He makes me look at him again and gives me a small smile.

"Why are you crying?" He asks. I sigh.

"I don't know. Everyone is depending on me to end this feud once and for all, but what if I can't? What if I'm not good enough? What if I let everyone down again? And if I do succeed, what do I do afterwards? I've spent all my time and energy on ending this, I lost myself. This is the only consistent thing in my life. I am constantly moving and making friends that in the end I have to leave for their own safety. I have nothing outside of this. I am nothing without this." I say, tears burning my eyes as I look down to his chest. I feel him place one hand on my waist and another on my cheek.

"Let me give you something other than this job." He says, looking between my lips and eyes. I try to stand up, but he holds me down. He leans in and connects our lips. I slowly start to kiss back, placing my hands on his face as our simple kiss turns to a make out. His tongue traces my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I tease him, refusing to grant him access. He squeezes my butt, causing me to gasp into the kiss. He takes his chance, quickly inserting his tongue. Our tongues swirl around each other as he slowly lays down on my bed. We continue kissing until I hear shuffling outside of the house. I pull away and sit up. I look out the window and see someone running off. I quickly put on my shoes and jump out of the window, chasing after the person as Ale yells for me. I follow them into an alley and realize it's a trap.

"Shit." I mumble as six more people appear.

"I knew it'd work." Cynthia says, crossing her arms. I lean against the brick wall and sigh.

"Let's get this over with. Kidnapping or killing? I'm down for either." I say, staring at my nails. She laughs.

"I'm here to negotiate." She says. I raise an eyebrow and look up at her.

"About?" I reply. She chuckles.

"Max passed out a couple weeks back after he followed you. The only thing he remembers, you talking about my mother. So, either you tell me what you were talking about or I can send the picture of you and Alejandro kissing to Jeremy." She says. I laugh.