Warning:Suicidal thoughts/Actions
Y/N POV
I don't know how much longer I can do this... all everyone says is where did the happy little Y/N go and if I'm honest I'm looking for her too. After my mom passed and my dad started drinking things got worse.
My own family doesn't even care about me. Mom was the only one who was happy for me and Jessie. Everyone else was just telling us how wrong this was and that it was disgusting. We ignored them but it's starting to get to me.
The only one keeping me here was Jessie. She does everything she can to keep me happy but I'm just a burden to her. Everytime my dad calls me he just asks for money and insults me. My spot on the national team is also at stake. My mental health keeps deteriorating and I feel like a sinking ship. Maybe I should just die that way nobody has to deal with my shit.....
Jessie's POV
It's easy to tell Y/N is broken but she doesn't want to admit it. I'm scared she's gonna lose her battle and leave me. She doesn't want to open up to me so helping her is impossible. I need to check up on her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. After walking to our apartment I try to open the door but it was locked and I didn't have a key.
I called Y/N but she never answered even though I heard her phone ring. I started panicking while trying to get her attention.
"Y/N OPEN THE DOOR!" but I didn't get a response. I ran down to the office and asked for a spare key. Once I got the door unlocked I couldn't find her.
I got to the restroom and my heart broke at the sight of Y/N standing there with a gun to her head. I was stuck in place and I couldn't speak.
Once I composed myself I started talking to her. "Hey baby talk to me but put the gun down I said quietly. She shook her head furiously as she continued to cry.
"Calm down babe and remember of all our adventures together and how we still have many years left, think about our future together. You might feel like a burden but trust me you aren't one and I love you with all my heart!"
Y/N POV
Every kick,slap,punch,cut and slur my dad threw at me resurfaced through my memory and reminded me of why I don't deserve to be here.
I fell by the wayside like everyone else
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself
Every single thing I did wrong led to a punch or even a cut. I can't take it anymore.
Our every moment, I start to replace
'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal, but this won't
After my mom died the hole in my heart never healed. A part of me died with her. She was my rock and now she's gone....
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
Jessie deserves so much more than what I give her. All I give her is problems and she's better off without me. I love her to the moon and back but I don't want her to suffer with me.
Jessie's POV
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
What could I have said or done to make her feel better? It kills me how her mind convinced her she's not worth it. Everything I try doesn't work. I pulled my phone out and texted Teagan while Y/N was distracted.
So, before you go
Was never the right time, whenever you called
Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all
All my calls would be left unanswered and my texts would be left on delivered.
Our every moment, I start to replay
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face
It hurt seeing Y/N go from being this happy bubbly person to what she is now. I'm not gonna give up on her like others did. Her own family doesn't even acknowledge her anymore.
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, some can heal, but this won't
What if she never gets bett- My thoughts were cut off by the door opening and Teagan running in. "Y/N please put the gun down, we love you and even if I might have a funny way of showing it your a big part of my life and without you I'm incomplete and so is Jessie. Please put the gun down" she said as her voice broke towards the end.
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
It's obvious that once her mom passed everything got worse. Her dad started to drink and she started losing herself. I wanted to say something but I never found the courage....
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
"Please listen to me Y/N. We can get through this together just please put the gun down.." I say trying to keep myself together.
Would we be better off by now
If I'd have let my walls come down?
Maybe, I guess we'll never know
You know, you know
She put the gun down and we reached towards her to hug her. She stood there crying but in a split second something in her head clicked as she pushed us off her.
Before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
She moved as fast as she could and got the gun back. I reached towards her but she backed up more and put her finger on the trigger...
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
"Y/N PLEASE DON-"
*BANG*
Then I woke up.
