Story Of My Life

Forbidden Love Part 12

I was 13,

It didn't happen much anymore.

The trauma.

I will never forgive.

I will never forget.

Those nights, I simply lay on my bed, crying and struggling to breathe,
Those nights I had to endure,

Those days I was at my lowest,

Those days where I had no choice.

Those are the days I will forever remember,

Like letters carved on stone.

I think it's because I grew up.

I'm older.

I'm a big girl now, as Mommy would say.

I didn't had much friends but Hammy  was the guy i adored most and because of family friends we used to visit there every summer.

But because of whatever happened i had no control over my emotions and i would get angry at anyone without any reason.

May be it was the fear of being protective or inner rush

I will never let my past stop me.

I will not let the people who hurt me,
Who put me through the worst,

Who left me to suffer on my own,

I will never let them get between me and my future.

I will show them the power of my voice.

I am a Lioness.

Sprinting through the vast jungle.

Looking for my prey.

It is my turn now,

To hunt down those who were once my predators.

Those that once hunted me down,

Thinking they could silence my roar.

Never again will they succeed.

I will roar,

And when I do,

The world shall hear it.

--------------------

"So you're just going to leave like this?" Hammy, crossing both his arms.

I threw my heavy bag into the back seat of the car and then turn to face him.  I still didn't felt a jolt of depression because leaving town couldn't be better for me right now, after everything that's gone down, but this is the best spending summer time with Hammy . Of course I'll miss my home , but I'm not regretting leaving it .

"Yes, I don't want to fix the problem that I didn't cause." I continue to dump luggage into the car without breaking a sweat.


"C'mon Mae, don't be this way. You know you and Hammy are suppose to be a couple, you guys are meant for each other." My mom whimpers, sticking her hip out in her sassy way.

"Well, like someone quoted to me previously, fairytales don't come true." I spat.


"And what's that suppose to mean?" Hammy shakes, his voice caring and worried.


"I mean, all this time I thought I was living a fairytale, but they don't come true. Life doesn't end with a happily ever after."

All of them grow silent because they know now I quote the words  harshly when things fell apart. It was the brightest part of our friendship and I'm not going to lie when I say that we are still on rocky grounds because of it.

"Hammy and I thought something was going to happen, but it crumbled away before we could do anything with it, so I mean it's not even worth trying since I'll be states away anyways." I close the trunk, finally planting my feet in front of them, looking at all of their expressions.

Hammy and I have been the crazed music lovers and enjoy performing on stage whenever we had the chance,  but I still love her. Then don't forget our love of little happiness about stupid funny shows , we could talk about them all day if we could, I could always count on him for advice if I needed it.

We've always had the best time laughing our eyes out over something silly we've done.

"When are you leaving turkey ?" Hammy asked.


I swallow down the cry in the back of my throat and kick the ball fiercely into the net. The rope swings back and forth from the impact of the ball I just shot in.


"Today." I simply answer with no emotion.


"You didn't say goodbye?" He questioned, grabbing the ball out from under the tangled up net.

"It would be too hard to say it. It's over between us and I ruined everything, so why make it worse by saying farewells?" I state, hiding my true feelings.

My stomach swirls with guilt and my legs are numb, making the pain of running for hours less excruciating. Since I woke up today, it's been a constant fight between saying goodbye and leaving it all alone. I have never been too afraid to talk to Hammy, he's been one of the only people who I've ever been able to open up fully to, so the fact that I can't work up the courage to say goodbye is scaring me. His gleaming brown, black eyes and brownish hair flash in my head. Then his smile touches my mind with such a stab, my head begins to pound.

"It's just the way things are, I'm really sorry."


His pained face drops my heart to the floor.

Stupid. Stupid and idiotic. Stupid and idiotic and clueless. I'm all of that and so much more. But he made me uncomfortable and I missed him after shifting to England , I missed seeing him happy self, I missed recognizing that sweet voice that always seemed to calm me, I just missed Hammy's presence.

It took me awhile to settle all over again but i was left with no choice.

The reason behind leaving the country was still unknown to Hammy and may be i didn't wanted to hurt him with my problems