𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔, t. kuroo ✓

one.

FIRST RECORDING
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hey.

your voice sounded hoarse after several hours of wallowing in your self pity, sniffling quietly before clearing your throat. his heart sinks a bit, laying his phone flat on his desk before pressing his palms to his face.

i don't even know what to say, so.. i guess i'll talk about when i first met you.

you were so cocky at first. always teasing me because of my height. 'are you ever going to grow, (y/n)? i'll carry you on my shoulders if you ever feel short, yeah?' and i didn't think much about it at first because god, you flirted with everyone.

you laugh here, and he cracks a smile that quickly fades once you sniffle again. he can easily envision your position in your room, hidden by the blankets and masses of pillows. he longs to hold you in his arms again.

i don't know why or how it happened, but it did. you were such a tease but so sweet when you wanted to be, and i fell. hard. i didn't want to be another person added to your.. body count. i have pride, too, you know? i didn't want to be number 235 or whatever, but you were always there and i couldn't help myself.

no, wait— i remember now. it was your game against.. shit, i don't remember. ha.

it's vague for him as well, surprisingly. as captain, you'd think he'd keep track of such things, right?

it was a very intense match, but you guys won and everyone was just.. screaming. i don't know what came over me, but i just— i just ran. the refs tried to stop me on the way, too. i didn't tell you that, did i? i just leapt into your arms and you caught me and.. and it felt like it was just us and no one else. i thought you were going to drop me and tease me like you always do, but you held on. you held on, and everything changed right and there.

the cheers had faded for him, too. he'd taken your wide grin and joyful expression straight to the heart, easily lifting you up once you had managed to get past the rest of the team. right in the middle of the court, but he hadn't cared. all that mattered was you and him in that moment.

and then he kissed you.
and then you kissed me.

yamamoto would not let me hear the end of it. he was complaining about how you always get the 'cute' ones and how it wasn't fair and i kind of felt bad. i gave him my best friend's number and he looked like he was about to burst into tears right then and there.

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do you ever think about how that changed everything between us, tetsu— kuroo. .. sorry. i.. don't know if i should keep using informalities anymore.

his heart sunk a little more.

but, um, everything changed from that day. i couldn't look at you without thinking about that kiss and it made my heart skip a few beats. a pause, then: you know that's called arrhythmia, right? you can die from that.

he can't help but snort at the half-assed joke. he can't see you either, but he knows you've managed a smile at that, and it eases him a bit.

i wish you didn't kiss her.

the sudden drop in tone startled him, his gaze dropping to his phone almost immediately. he hears you try and fail to compose yourself, and the emotion builds up until he can hear your quiet sobs. it sounds like you're wrestling between calming down and letting him know how much he really hurt you, and he stares at the phone before him in agony.

why? why did you do it? was i ever enough? was i ever enough for you, tets— kuroo. kuroo. i know i asked you not to respond for the sake of saving your pride, but shit, was i ever.. ever enough? did i do anything that upset you? did i?

it's full blown crying now, and you're at the point where your words are more sob than english. he clenched his fists as he hears you break down even more, unable to do anything but endure it.

i'd have preferred if someone had told me, you know? like someone would come up to me and be like, 'oh hey, your boyfriend's cheating on you with his last girlfriend.' but i just had to be stupid enough to leave my charger in the gym and catch both of you in the act, right?

i kind of get it, though. i just wish you'd told me you still liked her when you were with me. i would've ended things without a fight because i l— care. i care about you. it's always been your feelings over anyone else's with me because i care about you so much. a bitter laugh. i can't even use care in the past tense because i still do. i still care about you.

another sniffle and a sigh that sounds like you've lived longer than a thousand years.

you used to run your hands through my hair before i fell asleep, and now i can't sleep properly anymore. another pause. not trying to guilt trip you or anything. just thought you should know.

i'm tired, kuroo. i'm going to try and sleep and.. try not to think of you here. because it hurts. it hurts a lot.

you stop talking and he wonders if you fell asleep a bit during the voicemail. he almost turns his phone off before you say one more thing that leaves him fully heartbroken, not realizing he's crying until he feels the drops land on his open palms.

i'll give your hoodies back to kenma to return to you.

FIRST RECORDING
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