six.

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SIXTH RECORDING
0:00 ⊙━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 1:54

how do people move on? odd question. i'll explain my theory to you.

i spoke to kenma during lunch today. surprisingly, he was attentive enough to put his console down and talk to me, even though he looked a little uncomfortable. i haven't spoken to him since i gave him your.. your hoodies back. all but one. i wasn't going to tell you, and now this is going to sound like i'm needy or whatever, but i guess i couldn't let go of this one for some odd reason.

he.. told me about how you were coping as well. christ, kuroo. please tell me you've been sleeping. a small pause, then the sound of faint laughter. right, you can't answer these.

he laughs in the confinement of his room, the sound swallowed whole by the looming presence of the four walls that enclosed him as another late night message echoes around him. he hadn't.. hasn't been sleeping. each time he sits on his bed, he feels the ghostly touches of your arms around him, the gentle movements of your fingers working out the tensions in his shoulders after the long day. on other days, he finds himself reaching up to where your chin would rest on his shoulder as you would hug him from behind, his fingers closing around nothing a painful reminder of what he'd done.

he misses you so much.
please. please try and sleep tonight.

a soft sigh from your end. people move on gradually, i believe. obviously it differs with each individual, their surroundings, and how they process the situation, but people will move on somehow. a loss of interest, healing and support, forgetfulness. and then question of 'what if you don't?' is raised. what if the incident effects you so much it rules how you see everyday life?

i couldn't stand looking at couples for the first few days. it was a horrifically present reminder of what i had and what i'd lost so quickly. it's like water rushing through and past your fingers. you don't touch the same water droplet twice. if that even makes sense. ha. it's like.. yolo, in a way. you only live once. you don't get a second shot— and if you do, it's not the same. the level of trust is gone, and the relationship would crumble again because insecurities and other things. ..sorry, i probably don't even make sense now.

i guess i can't help but think i didn't meet your expectations. like.. i was some how flawed in comparison to the other 235 or so girls you dated or had flings with. i know i'm not the prettiest, but damn. haha. oh— also. kenma said i called him while drunk a few days ago, and i can only imagine i did the same thing with you. i'm sorry if i said anything harsh. i didn't mean it.

standing up, he begins to pace, his hands working through his already messy hair. what you said.. hurt, but you were right.

if either of us move on, no guilt tripping, okay? i'd be happy for you. honest. you deserve better, i guess.

he didn't want better. he wanted you. he needed you. for the first time in a long time, kuroo felt loss of a different kind. it hurt him knowing you were so close yet so far from reach, like forbidden fruit, and the ache made itself even more present when you speak up once more.

is there a limit to these voicemails? i think i should save both of us the trouble and stop. this is the sixth one, i think.. maybe i'll stop after nine or so.

i know i said i didn't want to hear your voice, but nine is my limit on purpose. i can't guarantee that i'll listen to it, but you have that one to complete this weird cycle of ours. full circle, right? i guess i owe you that much. kind of selfish of me, now i think about it.

anyways, i have to go. this homework isn't going to complete itself. please try and get some rest tonight.

SIXTH RECORDING
1:54 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━⊙ 1:54

𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔, t. kuroo  ✓Where stories live. Discover now