𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔, t. kuroo ✓

three.

THIRD RECORDING
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soulmates.

it's about a few days since the incident, and kuroo starts to see how empty his day was without you. he keeps catching himself waiting for you after your classes or heading to the spot you two used to share during lunch. he slowly learns that this behavior is engrained within him and he has no idea how to unlearn it.

it's a pretty word, isn't it? soul. mate. google defines a soulmate as 'a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.' someone who's been perfectly and ideally tailored to your liking. in personality, music taste, etc. are soulmates subjective or objective? can someone be more than one person's ideal soulmate? what if you're soulmateless?

he sees you everywhere. in your shared classes, in the halls, before and after school. sometimes during his practices, but that's rare. you only come when the team (he) really wants you there. now you make excuses and leave them (him) heartbroken.

questions. so many questions.

tumblr user saddeer said something interesting about soulmates that i've yet to shake. i have this weird theory that some people are drawn to each other because their atoms were near each other when the Universe was created and over time the same atoms keep coming back together. i know it's weird to be quoting a tumblr account when there are literal scientific studies done on soulmates and if they exist or not, but this one.. this one hits a little closer to home.

he vaguely remembers making fun of you for having a tumblr account. you'd defended yourself, saying that there are actual intellectual things said on that crack app (there are, you just gotta.. search a little harder) and that he was being biased. biased or not, he'd still made fun of you then. that moment feels so long ago, so lost in the stars. so far away from reach.

the possibility of someone who was made of the stardust closest to yours being out there, probably feeling the same level of want and yearning.. warms your chest a little, doesn't it? the thought of being yearned for. there's a little ache in there, too. that there's also a possibility that they could have a whole life that doesn't match up to yours. that they're already in love with someone who isn't even detrimental to them—unlike the stupid stereotypical abusive significant other. there's a fat chance that your soulmate might not even need you.

there's also a chance that the person you thought was yours.. isn't. or turns out not to be.

he hears you sigh in your third voicemail to him, the cogs in your brain turning as you placed both science and emotion in the same boat. while he was interested in chemistry, you were interested in the other kind of science that dealt with ideas that boggled the mind. you lived for the unanswerable questions, and he let you have your fun. (it interested him, too, but he knew how you tended to go on a tangent once spurred long enough. not that he didn't mind the thought itself, but he really didn't want to think about the planet suddenly dropping when he was going down on you.)

hurts to think about it, doesn't it? i know. i've felt it. we all want a happy ending. happy endings only exist if the Universe likes you, and the Universe sure did take its time with me. still kind of salty about it. i guess what i'm trying to say is that, as stupid as it sounds? i didn't give up hope. especially when it felt like i was up shit's creek.

he can't help but stare when he sees you at school, still attempting to progress forward despite the heartbreak. and, honestly? he's cheering for you. always has, and always will.

you did lock eyes once, though. in the library, when you both reached for the same book. your eyes had widened, slowly backing away before he could say a word. you were saved (or.. not, depending on how you thought about it) when you heard your name called, swiftly turning around to run in the direction. it sounds cliché, but he wished you'd said something then. he'd left the book there. for you.

and in return, you gave him this.
and then the Universe gave me you.

now it feels like the Universe is laughing in my face.

THIRD RECORDING
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