Confronting Fear

Return

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Iris- Goo Goo Dolls

Kylo turned to the sound of creaking doors filling the still air, his conversation with his eponym heavy in his mind. The first signs of dawn were peaking over the horizon in the eastern sky as she finally appeared on the grand steps bathed in the pink and orange light. He could tell from her tainted aura and her defeated walk that something had not gone well. He wanted to run to her, to hold her, but also sensed now was not the time. Whatever it was, he would wait for her to come to him.

She appeared to be unharmed physically, but as they both well knew, that didn't mean anything. "How'd it go, did you find your crystal?"

She smiled wearily. "I did, see." She reached into her bag and pulled out a large piece of white kyber.

"Hmm, larger than usual. I wonder what it means."

"There's more." She opened up the pack and motioned for him to look inside. "Lightsaber parts, I found them in an old storage chamber."

He nodded. "Good, you'll be able to start the process then when we get back."

"Yes, now let's get out of here. I've had enough this place for one lifetime."

"That makes two of us."

The walk back to the shuttle was silent, except for their footsteps, both too weary from their respective experiences to put a voice to it. Several times during the walk Rey's hand brushed up against his. He fought the urge to grab hold.

Once in the shuttle, Kylo went through the familiar take off sequence almost as though he himself were on autopilot. Normally the blue rush of hyperspace calmed him, but today it just made him more anxious. He needed to get away from the windows, which meant going to the back with Rey.

He tried to be as nonthreatening as possible as he extracted two bottles of water and two meal bars from the over head. At least this time we don't need the medkit.

He sat on his bunk, offering one set of the rations to Rey, which she took with a weary smile. He was beginning to understand that keeping her well fed would better her attitude towards him.

They ate in a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, but rather the silence of two world weary kindred spirits.

Rey spoke first, her elbows on her knees, head in her hands. "I don't know where to begin."

"Start at the beginning."

"The second the doors closed I felt our connection sever. I'm sure you did too. The Dark whispered, trying to distract from me from my goal but I was able to fight it.

I found the stairwell and at the top I met an old Jedi Master, who guided me to the entrance."

Kylo's felt his ears prick forward, his own recent encounter still at the forefront of his mind. "Who was it?".

"He said his name was Yoda, small green alien, spoke funny."

Ah, Kylo had grown up with stories of this particular Master. It made sense that he'd be there. It also explained how Kenobi knew Rey's progress.

"The entrance was a slide into a cavern. It was like no place I had ever seen. It was warm and light. It was.... incredible. I heard my crystal singing to me. It was up high and I had to levitate to get to it. I'd never done it before, not like that. I levitated back up through the slide. When I reached the top I had a vision."