Mission number 38 (Frerard + Joshler)

(10) Week 4 - Part 1 -An apology in advance

That night Gerard and Frank burried NED behind Lindseys special shed. They had agreed to never speak about it and pretend as if it never happened. So, it didn't.

It had been a few days since and Frank had been thinking a lot. Should he just ask Gerard about his dad? Was all of this really necessary after all? He felt bad. He felt guilty.

It was the middle of the night and Gerard was sleeping. Frank had the small dim lamp on his side of the bed flicked on so he could see the notebook he was writing in.

He clicked his pen a few times trying to decide where to start. Josh would be having the baby soon. He wanted the letter to be ready for Gerard before then. He decided to just go with the flow but also establish some main points.

"Dear Gerard,"

***

Gerard woke up early. About 6am and he glanced to his side, noticing Frank was still sleeping so he decided it was a good time to read the comic that Frank had bought him as a gift a few days back. He had yet to read it because they had been preoccupied with 'other things'.

By the time Gerard had finished the comic Frank had woken up on the verge of tears.
"Frankie? Whats wrong?" Gerard asked after hearing soft whimpers escape his boyfriends lips. Frank just nuzzled his face deeper into the pillow.
"Please talk to me." Gerard requested but it was still no use.
He decided all he could really do was comfort Frank and give up on pressuring him for answers so he settled on rubbing the boys back soothingly.

After several moments Frank slowly lifted his previously limp body and turned to face Gerard. He cuddled his legs which were pressed up against his chest. His eyes were stained with tears and his face was a soft shade of pink.

He looked completely exhausted both mentally and physically. He looked utterly drained.
"Oh Frankie-" Gerard pouted. He felt confused and a little hurt. He wanted to be there for his boyfriend. He wanted to help him through whatever was going on but Frank wouldn't even talk to him about it so how was he supposed to help.

"Please say something Frank." Gerard begged leaning in for a protective hug.
"Im gonna miss you and I just want you to know I really do love you." Frank stated before slowly willing himself out of bed and into the shower. Gerard didn't follow him.

***

Gerard's mind focused on the sound of the running shower as he attempted to not rip himself apart from the inside out as he asked himself one very complicated question: "What was that supposed to mean?"

There were many possibilities but Frank had been so vague. Could he have meant getting out of the camp? Was he going to break up with him?
Gerard found himself fighting off tears that threatened to come out. He didn't want Frank to break up with him. He didn't want to loose him. The possibility, even just the thought of that hurt. It hurt Gerard so much that he wanted to crawl into a hole and just die.

As stupid as it sounded he genuinely thought Frank was the love of his life even after only knowing him for a month he was so utterly special and important but Gerard had too much respect for his boyfriend to not let him go if that was what would make him happier. He just wanted Frank to be happy but at the same time he really wanted to be in his life. The idea of not having both at once was heart wrenching. Gerard found himself feeling sick to his stomach.

***

"Frank will you please talk to me?" Gerard asked from outside the shower door. He had sunken to the ground and had his arms wrapped around his legs holding them to his chest.
Frank didn't respond.

Gerard was starting to get mad. He didn't understand why Frank couldn't just talk to him about what was going on and what was upsetting him. Was it really that hard to talk to your fucking boyfriend?

Gerard stood up and pulled at the doorknob but came to realize Frank had locked it.
"Frank seriously?" Gerard scoffed.
"What makes you think we cant work this out? What makes you think i cant help you!?" Gerard shouted on the verge of tears.

The water stopped abruptly. Gerard stepped away from the door as Frank jiggled the doorknob.

A soaking wet and shivering Frank rushed over to get the towel that he forget in their drawers. Gerard just watched patiently hoping his boyfriend would actually talk to him.

Frank dried himself off with the towel before slipping on some clothes and just standing there, staring at Gerard who was staring back.
"What?" Gerard choked out.
"Nothing."
"What do you mean 'nothing' Frank? You're upset just fucking say something would you?" Gerard cried sitting down on their bed.
Frank shook his head.

"No, you're not doing this! You can't just walk away and not tell me whats wrong! Im here to help you!" Gerard pushed out of his mouth in an attempt to stand his ground but failed terribly.

"Well- when Josh has the baby and we get out of here, which will be very soon... what if something goes wrong? What if I never get to see you again?" Frank whimpered.
"Frank your logic is shit." Gerard laughed wiping away some of his own tears.

"Huh?"
"Frank I believe in you, I trust you. We've planned this out thoroughly, its gonna be okay. Even if something like that happens would you wanna spend our 'last' while together ignoring each other?" Gerard laughed.
Frank smiled shaking his head.

"You're right." He sighed as he climbed on their bed next to Gerard.

***

A loud wail could be heard across the whole camp as Josh Dun had reached his early stages of labour at 8:30pm on April 16th.
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