im not crying | haikyuu angst oneshots

be happy

(a/n: tbh the song has nothing to do with the story, just enjoy some ones I like)

edit: (23/5/2021) WHY IS THIS THE MOST POPULAR ONE? I LITERALLY CHURNED THIS OUT IN ONE HOUR? IT'S NOT EVEN WELL-WRITTEN, BUT THANK YOU PEOPLES ♡♡

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Soft music flowed through the beautifully decorated church, plinking piano keys providing a melodious background for the guests' chatter.

Pastel rose petals littered the carpeted aisle, floral scented candles burned merrily, ribbons dangled from the rafters among more flowers of all sorts, daffodils, tulips, peonies, lillies, hydrangeas...

Everything had been meticulously designed and arranged, from the embroidered cloth for the altar to the smallest bloom in the centerpieces for the outdoor banquet.

The venue was set for the union between the House of Haiba and the House of Yaku.

Lev tugged at the neck of his suit with shaking hands, the lapis lazuli blue tie felt just a bit too tight. He couldn't calm the jitters coursing through his veins, the tips of his polished loafers tapped on the marble floor.

The first notes of the 'Bridal March' started playing and the crowd hushed, craning their heads from their seats in the pews.

Drawing in a deep breath, Lev composed himself and turned to step out from the corridor.

There, he could see Yaku standing at the end of the aisle, his perfectly mussed hair, his crisp suit and tie, shining eyes, radiant smile. The lanky giant's heart skipped a beat at that familiar grin, and he could get lost in his senpai's warm brown orbs.

Lev stepped forward, hurrying towards the altar, and taking his place next to his former schoolmate.

'Where have you been?' Kuroo whispered harshly, he was clearly pissed at having his bedhead violently tamed with several buckets' worth of hair gel.

'Sorry,' the silver-haired male muttered. He turned his attention to the stunning woman slowly striding down the carpeted floor.

Alisa's snow white veil covered her face, but you could feel that smile all the way across the room. A delicate crown of blossoms adorned her head, her silver hair, identical to her brother's, only longer, was left loose and flowing. She was wearing just a simple dress, a modest train trailing behind her, but it only highlighted her natural beauty.

Lev's fist clenched, nails gouging red half moons into the soft flesh of his palm. He should be happy, happy for his sister, happy for Yaku, he told himself that, over and over.

The bride advanced down the aisle, closer and closer, and Lev kept telling himself that same thing, all the while keeping the mask of a proud and loving brother on over the stormy clash of emotions writhing inside of him.

Their vows were made, each word struck him like a bullet. They would spend the rest of their days together, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death did them part. They would be part of each other's lives, in this life and whatever came next. They would live an eternity filled with love and contentment.

One Lev would never have.

'Do you, Haiba Alisa, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?'

'I do.'

'And do you, Yaku Morisuke, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?'

'I do.'

Those two words hurt more than any physical blow, echoing through Lev's mind.

'Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.'

He could feel the skin splitting under his fingernails, the pain of it blissfully distracting from the pain of unrequited love.

Don't speak up, his muscles tensed. What would come from his interference? It wasn't worth ruining more than one person's happiness.

'Then, I declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.'

The couple's lips met for a sweet moment, and Lev's heart shattered, the poorly mended cracks from years of torment finally giving way.

The guests filed out of the church and onto the freshly mowed lawn with the buffet table set out, followed by the newlyweds, their family, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen.

'Food!' Kuroo and the other Nekoma graduates hissed and pounced on the delicious smelling treats.

Lev slipped away from the crowd of people lining up to congratulate the bride and groom. No one would miss him just yet, not with the orderly chaos happening.

Safe behind a shadowy bush, one of many lining the field, he let a single tear come, slowly running down his sharp angular cheekbones.

Wiping it away with his sleeve, he straightened up and returned to the fray.

'You okay, man?' Kuroo asked, gnawing on some sort of fish delicacy, 'Your eyes are red.'

'N-nice wedding,' Lev sniffled slightly, turning his face away from the inquiring senpai.

He could bear it, he had done so for the past decade, he can do so for a few more.

So when his sister and her husband came, laughing and crying tears of joy, he kept the mask on, and he would do so for the rest of his life, he would take his secret love to his grave.

But before that, he let the mask slip one last time, letting another tear slide down his face, disguised by all the others falling around him for completely different reasons.

I love you, Yaku-san.