The Peach Pits

Chapter 13

 The happiness didn't last long. Mae and Trina had been out having the rare lunch at the dairy bar when her mother called. She talked a mile a minute about how she drove Aunt Lynn to the hospital again because she'd been complaining of chest pains, and then passed out shortly after. Trina sat in the waiting room and cried the entire time. Not that Mae blamed her, but she didn't think sitting in the hospital was going to do anyone any good. They found out later that Aunt Lynn wouldn't be coming home any time soon.

Mae put her face in her hands. Just this morning, she'd felt optimistic about things, which was rare for her. Without fail, whenever she thought she had a little extra money, it got sucked away from her in an instant. It was like no matter how much she tried, she couldn't keep her head above water. God had to be looking down at her and laughing his ass off. Her life was one big joke.

Focusing on math homework proved to be difficult. How could she think about school and theorems in a textbook when bills were stressing her out? Those were the only numbers that mattered in the moment. School wouldn't matter at all if she was homeless. 

Lisa came into the kitchen. Mae didn't have the energy to argue. She tried not to acknowledge her mother.

"It's getting late," Lisa said gently. "You should sleep."

As if she was awake in the middle of the night for no reason. "I can't, Trina won't stop crying. Besides, I have homework."

Lisa sighed audibly. Mae hoped she'd get whatever she needed and just leave her be. She wanted to curse when the chair across from her slid out. Her mother never wanted to talk to her any other time, why now when she was clearly busy?

"She's just worried," Lisa explained.  Mae wondered why her mother always insisted on saying things everybody already knew. 

Mae stared dejectedly into her cup of coffee. Sleep looked doubtful. "I'm worried too. Staying in the hospital isn't cheap. Medicine isn't cheap. Bills aren't cheap. And college sure isn't cheap."

Lisa's expression hardened. Mae braced herself for whatever stupid, unhelpful thing her mother was about to say. "Not everything is about money, Mae."

"I know that. But when we don't have any money that makes our lives hard. Especially when I work as much as I do." Mae made a point of looking back down at her work again and hoped her mother would get the message. 

"Mae, you know your aunt can't control her health. And this isn't how I wanted-"

"Why can't you ever just listen to me?" Mae questioned, shaking her head. She didn't know what came over her. "Every time I tell you how stressed I am, all you can do is tell me not to worry or make excuses."

Lisa's face fell. "Mae, I don't-"

"Yes, you do. Do you know how hard it is that you can't keep a job? Or that Aunt Lynn can't work because she's sick? And I don't want Trina's life to be ruined. I didn't ask for any of this. If you didn't want me-"

"Don't you ever say that. Of course, I wanted you, baby." It sure didn't seem like it. 

Every time Lisa used a pet name it felt like she was lying, or trying to convince herself that she was a real mother. "Is that why you let Grandma raise me? Is that why you were always running off with men and never home? Or you seem like you never wanna understand anything I'm going through? That doesn't make me feel like you want me."

Lisa looked like she'd been slapped by Mae's words. Her eyebrows raised in shock. "Mae, I love you. But I didn't want to be a mother at sixteen-"

"I didn't ask to have a sixteen-year-old mom. I feel like I'm a mom to three women," Mae cut her off. "For no reason. And I didn't put myself in that situation."