The Peach Pits

Chapter 23

Now, the only thing Mae looked forward to were visits from her mother. Instead of her mother coming up to visit her on her college campus, they were sitting in a dull gray room with Mae handcuffed to the table. Almost six weeks had gone by, and Mae still had a hard time seeing anything in common between her and these other criminals. Most of them were older than her, and they looked hardened. She still felt like she didn't belong, or like it was all some sick nightmare she'd wake up from. It was a nightmare, yes, but it was also her reality.

Mae gave her mother a weak smile. Her mother looked just as tired and bedraggled as she did. Her dress was wrinkled. "How was the funeral?"

"Good as funerals can be," her mother said sadly. Mae wished she had been able to go. "But she's not in pain anymore. That's how I've been telling Trina to see it."

Her aunt's passing had hit Mae hard. Her mother had told her on her last visit. She'd been embarrassed to cry in the visitation room, but she had seen worse in here. Now that Aunt Lynn was dead, Trina calling the police had been for no reason. The money had been for nothing. Mae wondered if her feeling that way was proof she deserved to be in jail.

"How's Trina?" Mae questioned. Her cousin hadn't come to visit her once.

"Still grieving. But she's trying to put herself back together. I am too."

Mae was hit with a wave of guilt. "I spoke with the public defender today."

"What did she say?"

Mae looked down. She knew her mother wouldn't approve of her choice. "I'm gonna do it."

Her mother gasped. "Mae, you can't."

"She told me if I accept the deal, it'll lessen my sentence and make me look good and honest. Well, more honest, I figure." At this point, there was no more use in lying about what she did. And if ratting Jesse out would get her less years in jail, Mae would sing like a canary. She didn't owe him shit. Her primary goal had always been to protect herself and her family. Jesse didn't fall anywhere into that category.

"I'm not letting you."

"Cause you still can't come to terms with what I did. But it's not your choice. No matter what, I'm not getting out of jail anytime soon. But the plea bargain would make it less. It's what I have to do."

Her mother nodded solemnly. She looked around the room at the other inmates talking to their families. They all looked just like Mae's mother, desperate for a solution that wasn't coming. "Every day I wake up, I pray that this didn't really happen."

"It did. And it's my fault. I'm sorry. I guess grandma was right. Everyone gets theirs in the end." At least her and Jesse getting arrested provided a little bit of closure for that man's family. It didn't fix anything, but it was a small consolation.

Mae's mother shook her head. "This isn't all your fault. I should have been a mother to you. I shouldn't have kept denying that I wasn't. And then maybe you wouldn't have turned to all this."

Mae couldn't say her mother was totally wrong. But maybe, if her desire to make something of herself hadn't been driven by anger and resentment, she wouldn't have put herself in the position to ruin her own life. She was just upset it took her going to jail to realize it all, but she probably wouldn't have seen the light any other way.

Her mother nodded in acceptance. She put her hand on top of Mae's. "All we can do now is move forward," her mother said. "And I'm going to be here for you, every step of the way. I didn't always show it, but I love you, Mae."

Mae nodded. She didn't want her mother to see her cry. She wasn't sure what the future would hold or what her life would look like years later when she was finally released. Hopefully, she and her mother would be able to make up for lost time. That was one good thing about her mother being young. At least that way, she'd have something to come back to when it was time to rebuild her life. If she got the chance, Mae promised she'd do it the right way- no lying, no stealing, no killing.

"I know, Mom," Mae nodded, holding back tears. "I love you, too."