Stuck in the Middle

Chapter 15

As the days and weeks went on, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to keep up this charade. Every time I was alone with either Marc or John, their lips were on mine or their wandering fingers found their way onto my body with fleeting touches. I didn't get any more random blow jobs, though. I wasn't sure if I was grateful for that or not. When John did it the one time in detention, it felt so good. But I wasn't sure I wanted to risk us getting caught again.

TJ was starting to suspect I was hiding something from him, too. I hated lying to him. I hated lying in general, but now that was all I seemed to be doing.

Why did I let myself get into this mess? And for what? To put myself right back into the same situation that happened with Jordan? Except now I was lusting after two boys instead of just one. I just prayed that however this might end, it'll end better than last time.

I was in the middle of putting away my laundry when Marc burst into the room. He glanced around quickly, making sure we were alone, then quickly kissed my cheek. I didn't even get a chance to say hi before he was digging through his own dresser, tossing some clothes into his backpack.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, tomorrow's my birthday and our game got cancelled. I'm going to spend the weekend at home."

"You didn't tell me your birthday was coming up!" I was honestly shocked. If I had known, I would have tried getting him something, not that I would have known what to get.

He sighed, putting his laptop and charger into his backpack. "Yeah, I don't really like telling people. I wouldn't have even done anything if the game wasn't cancelled. But my mom found out before I did and is going to be here any minute. I couldn't say no."

We hadn't actually talked about our families before. I know I never brought mine up because I'd rather not think about my parents. From what I remembered about Marc's family the day we moved in, they seemed rather close. I almost wanted to ask why he attended a boarding school. If I had a good home life, I might have considered something local.

His phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocket. "She's here," he sighed. "I was hoping for another couple minutes with you."

I crossed the room and, leaning up on my toes, gave him an actual kiss. It only lasted a few seconds before I broke it, lowering my heels back down to the floor.

"I'm sure you'll have a good time," I said. "And maybe we can do something to celebrate when you get back?"

I knew he said he wasn't really planning on celebrating, but I enjoyed birthdays. It didn't seem right to let it pass without doing anything, especially because we've been sort of together for almost a month now.

"Yeah, maybe."

Instead of pushing him further on the idea, I gave him another quick kiss. "You should go," I said. "Your mom's waiting."

He nodded, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Yeah. I'll see you Sunday, Spencer. Love you."

His eyes widened at his words, as I'm sure mine did. But before either of us could comment, he was rushing out the door, letting it slam shut behind him.

I stood in the middle of the room for too long, Marc's confession playing over and over again in my mind. He loved me. Could it be true? We only met a month ago!

Did I love him?

TJ had been teasing me about that since the semester started, but I never thought it was true. I really did like him. But I also really liked John.

I hadn't meant for this to go on for this long. Being with both of them. But they treated me like I was special. And yeah, sometimes it hurt when I saw them kissing some girl - which only happened a few times - or that neither one of them wanted to admit to anyone else that they were into me.

I had thought one of them would be brave enough to come out for me, then he'd be the one I'd commit to. Was that an unfair way of choosing? Was it unfair to lead them both on until someone came out? Or was it unfair of them to keep me hidden?

I was still standing in the middle of the room when John walked in, some time later. As soon as the door closed behind him, his arms were around me. I melted into the hug, resting my head on his chest, but I felt guitly. Marc had just told me he loved me, yet here I was in the arms of someone else.

"What's wrong?" John whispered in my ear.

I shook my head, my face rubbing against his shirt. "I don't know," I muttered.

I didn't know, not really. I didn't know how to tell John what I was feeling. Not without also telling him everything that's been going on with Marc, too. I couldn't do that to Marc.

"It's gotta be something," John said, pulling me away from him so that he can look me in the eyes. I had never seen so much concern in his eyes before. "You're usually worried about Marc walking in on us if I hold onto you too long. What's going on, Spencer?"

Instead of answering him, I pulled his head down to meet mine and kissed him. I kissed him like my life depended on it. Like if we stopped kissing, I'd lose everything. I don't know why I kissed him like that. Maybe it was the look he had given me. Maybe it's because I knew we were finally alone for the first time, with no possible interuptions. Maybe it was to get what Marc said out of my head.

John kissed me back with just as much rigor, pushing me a few steps backward until my back hit the dresser. John pressed up against me, his hands sliding under my shirt, caressing my back.

He started trailing his lips down my neck as his fingers dipped under the waistband of my jeans. As much as I was loving what we were doing, I wanted more.

"Hey, Spencer, about what I sai- What the fuck?"

At the sound of Marc's voice, I pushed John away from me. I hadn't even heard the door open.

I was breathing heavy, looking back and forth between the two of them. John looked scared, more scared than I ever could have imagined him getting. Marc just looked pissed.