Chapter 19

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I slunk back into my room at nearly five the next morning. I had meant to come back earlier, much earlier, but I ended up falling asleep on TJ's floor for a few hours. Before that, I finally told him the truth about John and Marc, needing someone else's opinion on the matter.

First, he told me he was super jealous that I was with the two hottest guys in school. Second, he told me I needed to "man up" and tell them both exactly what I wanted from them. And who I wanted.

But that was the problem. I wanted both of them. I wanted them both to be my official boyfriend, except that was impossible. They'd never agree to that, even if I had the courage to ask. I didn't even know how it would work.

I tried to close the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake either one of them. The sun was just starting to come up, making the room a dull gray instead of pitch black. Just enough light for me to slip into bed for another couple hours before I had to go to class.

"Spencer?" John whispered.

I froze, my foot halfway out of my sneaker. Did I wake him up? Did he actually want to talk to me or was that some sort of sleep talking?

Then he sat up a bit, leaning on his elbow as he stared at me in the dim light. "Come here."

I slipped the rest of my shoe off, then the other one, and walked over to his bed. I didn't say anything though, still not entirely sure he was actually awake.

As soon as I got close enough, John wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me even closer. Close enough to see the nasty black eye and cut lip in the faint light.

"What happened?" I whispered, gently caressing his cheek with the back of my hand.

He smirked. "You should see the other guy." His eyes darted over to the other side of the room.

"Marc? You guys fought?"

Instead of answering me, John pulled me even closer to him. He lifted up the blanket and I climbed in, laying down next to him. Part of me didn't want to, just because Marc was alseep three feet away. But they both knew about each other now. If John felt comfortable enough to have me in his bed, I would, too. For now. I still didn't know what I'd say to them both in the morning, but that was a problem for then. Plus, I was way too exhausted to climb onto my own bed.

~

I didn't remember falling asleep, but I awoke to someone loudly slamming their dresser draws. I rolled over, not wanting it to be morning yet, and took a deep breath, inhaling the strong scent of John's colonge.

I immediately sat straight up. I completely forgot I slept in his bed!

Everything was blurry. I didn't know where my classes were. Actually, I had no recollection of taking them off. But the room was washed in sunlight and the bed next to me was empty. I could see Marc's blurry form getting changed on the other side of the room.

"Hey," I said quietly.

He didn't respond. I didn't blame him. He woke up to find me in John's bed. I should have known not to stay. But the bed was comfortable and I was exhausted. Now I had to face the consquences.

"Can you see where my glasses are?" I asked, hoping he'd help. Even if he didn't want to talk to me, he could still let me know where they were. He was too nice not to.

He sighed and turned to face me. Without saying a word, he walked over and picked up my glasses from where they sat on top of John's backpack on the floor. I never would have looked there.

"Thank you," I said when he handed them to me. As soon as I put them on, I noticed that Marc looked even worse than John did. They really went at each other last night, didn't they?

"How badly are you hurt?" I asked, getting out of the bed.

"You know, it was your boyfriend who did this to me."

I shook my head, confused. "John's not my boyfriend." Why would he think that? Because I just woke up in John's bed? "I was only sleeping there because he made me and I was too tired to fight him."

"Made you?" Marc sat on the edge of the bed, finally actually looking me in the eyes. "How often does he make you do things you don't want to do?"

I sat next to him. Thankfully, he didn't move away from me. "He doesn't. Sometimes he goes further than I want, but he always stops if I tell him to." He had gotten a lot better about not pushing me too far recently. Never once did he ignore my wishes. I'm sure if I told John no to sleeping in his bed earlier, he would have let me go to my own.

He let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry." I looked up at him, curiously. "I keep overreacting about things. It wasn't fair of me to get so mad at you. And I didn't realize how much I was hurting you every time I tried to pretend I was someone I'm not."

He put his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I missed our little touches like this. And Marc apologizing was a huge step for him to take. But he wasn't the only one who needed to apologize.

"I'm sorry, too," I said quietly, keeping my head on him. "I never meant to be with both of you, especially not for this long."

I wanted to ask him about his little confession on Friday, but I didn't know how. That had been in the back of my mind since he said it - and took it back.

"Why did you?" he asked, just as quietly.

I shook my head slightly. "I don't know. I really like you both and I guess I just liked the attention. John told me he liked me right after you did, and I didn't know how to turn him down without outing you. I also had the biggest crush on him, too."

He smiled down at me. "So I was first?" I nodded. "That's good to hear."

Without waiting for me to say anything else, he shifted me into his lap and pressed his lips against mine.

I was just getting into the kiss when the door opened. I quickly slid off Marc's lap and looked up at John. I didn't know how our current situation would play out.

In the morning light, John's black eye was very obvious. I hated seeing both of them injured, especially because they were fighting over me.

"You know," John said causally. "Class already started. Didn't think either one of you were the type to skip."

I flung myself off the bed. How did I not realize the time? I didn't even care that I was still wearing the clothes I wore yesterday - and slept in. I just grabbed my backpack and slipped on my shoes. Just as I was about to rush out the door, John grabbed me around the waist and planted a kiss on my lips.

He smirked, breaking the kiss. "Can't have you leaving without that, 'specially 'cause Marc got one out of you."

I wanted to stay and figure out what exactly was going on with them, but I didn't have time. I had never missed a class in my life and no matter what was going on with us, class was more important. I'd figure it all out later.

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