The Strange Man

Welcome to Paddy's Pub

  As soon as Dahlia arrived at her apartment, she opened her laptop and started researching. She started by looking up Paddy's Pub. She scribbled down the address and took notes on the reviews. They were mostly negative. They discussed the lack of service, the terrible smells, and overall unprofessional attitude of the staff. After digging a bit deeper, she found that, despite the terrible reviews, the bar repeatedly received perfect health code ratings. It sure did sound like a strange place. This was going to be fun.
  Dahlia was ready to leave at exactly 7:00 PM and go to the bar. She filled the empty time with creating ads and a website for her new business. The time flew by. She was more than excited to go on her adventure. Who knows? She might even make some friends (which she had always lacked, but always wanted). They did, after all, seem as weird as her.
  She caught a cab and gave them the address to Paddy's Pub. Her body was filled with both excitement and anxiety the entire way there, but she was a professional and she knew how to hide her emotions. Walking into the bar, she heard a huge amount of arguing taking place between four men (three of which she saw at the coffee shop, and one that she had never seen, but had heard the night before) as well as a blonde woman. Dahlia sat at a stool near them, waiting for them to notice her, but they didn't. 'Oh, god,' she thought, filled with anxiety. She wasn't the assertive type. How was she supposed to get their attention? "Excuse me?", she said softly. They still didn't notice her. She waited for a bit. They eventually agreed to disagree and went back to working. "Excuse me?", Dahlia said again, still quite softly. She finally managed to grab the attention of the blonde woman behind the bar. "What can I get you?", she inquired. "A Coke, please," Dahlia responded. This earned her a confused look. "This is a bar," the blonde woman said. She seemed both confused and frustrated. "You're supposed to come here for our alcoholic beverages." Dahlia was hit with a wave of anxiety and embarrassment. "Oh..." she said softly. "Well, I don't really drink. I came here because I live close and I wanted to get out of my apartment and I wanted a Coke..." she rambled. A voice suddenly cut in. "Just get the broad a Coke!" It was the voice of the strange man's roommate. He was short and fat with large glasses and no shoes. The man struggled to climb onto the stool next to Dahlia. "Frank Reynolds," he said while sticking his hand out for her to shake. "I'm one of the owners of this fine establishment." Dahlia shook his hand and smiled. "Hi. I'm Dahlia." She looked around. "This is a very fine establishment, Mr. Reynolds." Frank smiled and said, "Call me Frank... You're nice. Much nicer than the idiots who work here. They wanna put me in a home, ya know!" The blonde woman rolled her eyes and retorted, "Well, Frank, in case you haven't noticed, you are losing your mind!" Frank snapped back, "There is no evidence of that!" To that, the woman responded, "You aren't even wearing shoes!"
  Dahlia, despite being a bit shaken by the tension, was quite amused. The quarreling went on for about a minute when a man with slicked-back hair and a shirt with the sleeves cut off suddenly interjected. "Guys! We have a customer! I can't protect the bar while you guys are being distracting and forcing me to have to mediate your conflicts!" I had seen him at the coffee shop with the strange man. He seemed very full of himself (with the whole protecting the bar thing).
  The woman was obviously annoyed. "You don't protect anything!" The man got angry. "I am a karate master! You have no idea what you're talking about, bird!" Another yelling match started. This one was a bit more intense and (like the last) was cut off by another interjection. This time, it was the other man who had accompanied the strange man at the coffee shop. "Guys," he said, "you're acting like monkeys! You're embarrassing me!" Before the others could defend themselves, the man looked at Dahlia and put on a cool demeanor "Hey," he said smoothly. "I'm Dennis. What's your name?" This made Dahlia a bit uncomfortable. Was he hitting on her? Interesting. 'He's one of those guys,' she thought. 'He'll hit on any woman he sees. Judging by the way he carries himself and by his deep concern about being embarrassed, he must have a big ego and a short temper. I better keep an eye on him.'
  "Hello. I'm Dahlia," she said hesitantly, "I was just wondering if I could have a Coke?" Dennis laughed creepily, poured a Coke, added some rum, and gave it to her. "Here you go," he said. "Actually... I don't drink alcohol," Dahlia said softly, obviously uncomfortable. "You... don't... drink... alcohol?" His face showed obvious confusion with slight hints of frustration. "You know what? This looks good. I'll drink it," Dahlia said. She didn't want to upset the man. He smiled and said, "It's on the house." She was surprised by his kindness. "Thank you." Just then, the strange man came out. He had a dirty towel over his shoulder, a bucket in one hand, and a bat in the other. His hair was even more messed up than it was at the coffee shop and he looked tired.
  When he saw his friends gathered around a strange new woman, he became confused. "What's going on?" He seemed a bit hurt. "Are you guys doing something without me again?!" The man became angry. The man with the slick backed hair responded, "No, dude. This is Dahlia. She's just here to get a drink and Dennis is trying to flirt with her, so he gave her a free drink." Dennis hit his friend in the arm. "You idiot! Why would you say that?!" He turned to Dahlia and denied his friend's comment.
  "Liars!", the strange man yelled. "You're just trying to replace me because you've never appreciated me and my work! You ungrateful fools!" Dahlia felt bad for him. She wasn't trying to replace him (whatever that meant). "Actually, I'm new to Philadelphia and I'm just here to get out of my apartment and maybe meet some people, but if I'm causing conflict, I can go. I'm willing to go..." Dahlia rambled as she began to stand up. "No," said the woman as she grabbed Dahlia's arm and motioned for her to sit. "Charlie, you are NOT going scare this poor woman away because of your insecurities!" The strange man looked at Dahlia for a moment with skepticism, then set down his bucket and bat. He wiped his hands with the towel on his shoulder and softly said, "You can't replace me." "Charlie!" The group yelled at the man. Yet another argument broke out.
  The strange man's bucket then caught Dahlia's eye. What could it possibly be? She managed to slip away from the group and inspect the dirty thing. It was filled with what looked like blood. She took out a pencil and began poking at the bucket, and then at the substance. "Hmm," she said. She was fascinated by the substance. "What's this?" Dahlia asked her question loudly, much louder than before. This caught the group's attention. They watched her as she squatted next to the bucket, obviously curious. The strange man quickly went towards her. "Do you like it?!" He had the excitement of a child in his voice. "It's my blood bucket!" The group grumbled with disappointment. They hated it when he scared people away because of his cluelessness. Dahlia responded, "What kind of blood?" The group was surprised by the woman's lack of fear. "All kinds!", he said. "We've got some birds, some rats... well... a lot of rats, some human probably..." He was overjoyed; someone was actually interested in his work! Dahlia responded, "That's really cool. How did you collect it all?" Charlie squatted next to her and began to explain his process. He used dramatic hand movements and his voice went up and down wildly.
  "What exactly is happening?", the blonde woman whispered to her friends. Mac replied, "I have no idea..." "Well, she is obviously just being nice!", Dennis responded. "I mean, she's... you know, and he's... you know! An illiterate freak!" Frank smiled. "I think Charlie has found himself a broad."