Polaris (Taekook)

6 - 6th lecture

Taehyung's heart felt a bit too heavy that evening. When Jeongguk had reminded him that in only two years, he will turn thirty, he heard something shattering inside him, it was a quiet sound yet strong enough for him to burst his bubble of happiness. He was instantly brought back to reality. He could pretend that everything was fine, but he couldn't lie that whenever he thought about himself and his future, he became a bit anxious. If it was not for Jeongguk telling him that he was hungry, Taehyung would have been probably drowning in his dark thoughts.

Thirty. The age when people supposedly reach stability in life, health-wise and financially, but Taehyung barely felt that sensation of imbalance. He was always on the lower end of the seesaw, with no one supporting him on the other side. They say when you are thirty, you have to become even more responsible and that failures are no longer acceptable at this age. The expectations and pressure behind this number oppressed Taehyung sometimes.

A few years ago, if he knew about this, he would have tried to escape this struggle, but he had nowhere to go, no dreams or goals so it was pointless to run away.

But right now it was different. There was Jeongguk, a young boy, completely different from him, who was fighting against something, against control and pressure. Jeongguk stepped into Taehyung's mundane life and lit a small fire of hope and passion in his heart. Taehyung had no one to support him, but he could help Jeongguk to go up on the seesaw. He felt like he became useful for once in his life and that was a nice feeling.

As he watched Jeongguk leave, Taehyung heart's, filled with mixed feelings, began to beat vividly at the thought of making Jeongguk a great person.

"Jeongguk can do it," He told himself with a soft smile on his lips, before turning his back and leaving.

—

It was Saturday, when his phone rang, waking him up from his sweet sleep. He reached for his phone on the nightstand, with his lids still shut. He randomly tapped on his phone and brought it next to his hear.

"Hello?" He spoke, voice raspy.

"Taehyung, this ain't it,"

As he recognized the familiar voice on the phone, Taehyung sat up and rubbed his eyes to wake himself.

"Jeongguk?"

"Explain yourself,"

Taehyung might have an idea behind Jeongguk's angry tone.

"Why is your cousin here?"

Taehyung stood up from his bed and looked through his window. The sky was clear.

"Jeongguk, actually, I wanted to tell you about this yesterday, but I forgot,"

He could Jeongguk sigh.

"Hoseok hyung is an ace in political science and he works at the senior presidential secretariat for political affairs,"

Taehyung was surprised that he managed to tell the entire name of Hoseok's position at work.

"He can teach you a lot of things and more than me,"

There was a silence and Taehyung was convinced that Jeongguk was upset for making decisions without his consent. But it couldn't be helped. Taehyung might have been one of the top students of his year in college, but when it came to political science, his grades were average. That is why he was not confident in teaching Jeongguk, who was majoring in political science.

When Taehyung asked Hoseok a favor for the first time, the latter refused saying he couldn't do it because he wouldn't anything from it, and he also reprimanded Taehyung to give up on tutoring Jeongguk and instead focus on his own life. Taehyung knew that Hoseok had said those words because he cares about him, but it was too late now, he was too engrossed in his ambition of making Jeongguk pass this year. It was only after several attempts, with Taehyung promising Hoseok to eat at least once a week with him, that the elder accepted.

"But I want only you,"

Sometimes, the words Jeongguk used stirred up something unfamiliar inside him.

That's because he is young. Taehyung convinced himself.

"Jeongguk, Hoseok hyung will teach you once a week, you really need to be grateful to him because he's a busy guy, besides once you're done, I'll come so we can review other classes,"

No response.

"When?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you'll be here,"

"I'll be there around 11,"

"Fine,"

As soon as Jeongguk hung up the phone, Taehyung stretched his body, as advised by his physiotherapist.

"Hopefully, Jeongguk and Hoseok get along well,"

Hopefully.

The two men were seated at the opposite side of the desk, glaring at each other.

"How old are you?" Jeongguk asked, his gaze not wavering a bit.

"29 and you 4? To speak so informally to me,"

Jeongguk huffed.

"Listen, young man, I'm only doing this because Taehyung asked me to, otherwise, I wouldn't be here wasting my time with a guy like you,"

Jeongguk clenched his fist. Was this man really Taehyung's relative? Taehyung speaks so angelically, but this man right in front of him, spoke with so much contempt in his voice and it angered Jeongguk.

The young student released his clenched fist and tried to calm down. He just needed to endure this for two hours and after this, he could see Taehyung. He took out from his bag, his sketchbooks and pencil case.

"Oh?" Hoseok said.

Jeongguk stared at Hoseok inquisitively.

"Did Taehyung advise you to use sketchbooks to take notes?"

"Yes,"

"I'm surprised, I was the one who told back in college to use sketchbooks to work on things he didn't understand..."

It felt weird.

"Kids these days are all about taking notes and working on laptops, but Taehyung didn't forget his roots. I still clearly remember the way he was walking around with sheets of paper, eventually dropping them here and whining because he couldn't find them anymore, that was really a cute sight." Hoseok said, with a beaming smile that filled his entire face.

But Jeongguk couldn't smile or react, because the way Hoseok spoke about Taehyung ached him for unknown reasons. Although they were relatives, there was this connection between them, that Jeongguk didn't have. A special link.

"Do you like Taehyung?" Jeongguk said, with a serious tone.

"U-Uh what?"

"Do you have feelings for him?"

Hoseok face was red. He averted his gaze and touched his front hair in embarrassment.

"Well, he's my relative so yes I like him, it's natural,"

"Don't avoid my question,"

Hoseok cleared his voice, regained his composure, and sat back on his chair.

"I do,"

"Does Taehyung know about it?"

"No, and you better not tell him,"

Jeongguk expected to feel upset, but when he heard that Taehyung was not aware of Hoseok's feelings, he rejoiced in happiness and he did not know why. It was not as if he was dating Taehyung or that Taehyung had feelings for him, but knowing that the professor's heart was unoccupied, brightened a ray of hope inside him. He smiled to himself, unaware that Hoseok was staring at him curiously. The elder slighted had a hint on the reason behind Jeongguk's smile and it unsettled him.

"Anyways, let's start, we don't have much time left," Hoseok said, bringing back Jeongguk to reality.