So you want to be a robot ...

Mother Janice

I didn't think this was possible. I think I'm feeling something approaching happiness? Maybe contentment or some semblance of purpose?

I didn't notice on my first few days but our workshop is nothing like the previous shop. Granted that was a government subcontract and several stories underground but still. No signage, no ornaments or fancy design just a large great steel warehouse with a *black * street number.

Through the time machine of a steel sliding door every morning to the low rent 90's industrial park, but it has a certain charm. Even Janice, the seemingly outdated receptionist who's also a software developer, is growing on me. It turns out Jimmie is her husband, he never mentioned being married or even dating anyone. It also seems odd that such a wealthy company has her working in both capacities, then again I suppose our quiet an unassuming location was intentional. Not like she needs to manage a lot of appointments, and why let a talented creator go to waste? I just hope she's being paid fairly for both roles. 

In her typically chipper tone Janice beams, "Good Morning Neil! Ruzzo wanted to talk when you arrived" Her colicky computer squeals with some sort of alarm. Janice's grey plastic robotic arms gesturing wildly with excitement she silences the screeching and responds, "Ooh that's the alarm on my scripts!!! Yaaaaas !! Neily Neil, do you want to see what I'm working on?" For a stationary humanoid robot weighing half a tonne, she's somehow bouncing in place bubbling over with excitement as she continues,  "It's a pet project mostly, but it's also a bit of a surprise for Jimmie". That would be the same Jimmie who introduced me to Ruzzo, I'm not sure how that arrangement works since he works for my old employer, but they were married as bots ages ago. The first couple I know to do so. In as encouraging a tone as I can muster first thing in the morning, " I'm always excited to see what new magic you've dreamed up Janice. What does Ruzzo have you working on anyhow?" 

"Come look!", she gestures beside her as she explains bursting with excitement. "So back in the data center I have a couple dedicated virtual servers and enough storage for like half of all known human knowledge. Anyhow.. the exciting bit.. I've taken a copy of my bot's storage and Jimmie's from a few a months ago, basically copies of our whole being. This scripting that just finished is my latest attempt at randomly combining our two minds and cumulative experience to form an entirely new and distinct mind if that makes sense? The idea being we put that new being built out of the mix of ourselves into a new bot..." her tone shifts to total sarcasm as she throws her mechanical head back, arms stretched out to either side " ..so in short yes I am in fact playing god muahaha! " 

I can't help but laugh, but this is a really big deal. I clarify, "Wait.. so you're basically building a way to create new bots? Practically the holy grail of bots, how to procreate in some way resembling genetic life?" 

In so far as the digital display of a human like face can muster expressions Janice displays the biggest smile possible then replies in a sing song synthesized voice, "Bingo Neily!" This is huge if it works, an odd choice to build minds randomly though. I ask, "Couldn't you just choose the individual traits to build well..who you want instead of leaving it up to chance?" 

She nods while explaining, "I tried that first. It always went horribly wrong.." she stares off across the room in thought for a second as she continues, "..that poor robo vacuum I tested this on attacked Jimmie and kept speeding around the apartment for no reason." Her focus returns back to me and the present, "That also opens up room for MAJOR abuse if I can ever scale this up". 

She's not wrong, I inquire further, "It's still possible though isn't it? I mean every major researcher at the Corporations has been trying to find a way to build uniform and predictable synthetic workers ever since the Artificial Intelligence stuff back when were humans. Also, it makes perfect sense Jimmie's kid would try to seize power, I'd just have thought they would be more subtle".  Janice giggles at her husband's expense, though we both know it's true. She reassures, "Oh absolutely, that's why the random assignment is built-in as a core component of the code itself. I can only ethically do this work if those protections are baked into the foundations, so it just won't work at all without randomization." Her tone softens a bit as her digital face blushes, "Also, a little fun side effect Jimmie and I get to be parents...sorta kinda".

Wait what? Robot parents? I ask, "Parents? You're building a kid?" 

"It's a test bed of sorts, but since we married as bots not humans it's an experience we'll never have together together", Janice states, then continues in a shockingly somber tone as though convincing herself mostly, "Yes we're not human anymore, even if our minds used to be. It's also absolutely not the same. I mean we're building a child out of mixed personalities and spare parts who never really grows up and may not even remotely resemble a person..but it's a start right?" Back to chipper she finishes, "I'm still working on the learning bit though" 

Wow, she's really out-thinking entire companies worth of R&D departments. I try to comfort her after that very uncharacteristic change in tone, "If you can make this work Janice that's incredible. I mean sure they're not actual offspring for now, just effectively a digital assistant with an attitude.. but it's a start. Not sure the humans will appreciate it though, you're effectively coding them out of utility". 

In her disturbingly matter of fact yet still bubbly tone she replies, "They are the only source for new minds right now, and do take a lot longer to develop. I can absolutely see how that could cause basically an all out revolt, though we'll need to keep evolving with the world around us. I mean hell Neily we're 20th century minds living an extra few hundred years in these tin cans. In the end humans have perfected learning and critical thinking though, we don't know how to replicate it yet". I don't think that cheery approach to existential dread is a side effect of being a bot though, Janice would react the same as a human as best I've figured out. 

I assure her, just out of habit with such a bleak reply, "I get it Janice, I just never took you for the maternal type". She cackles, the digital face closing its eyes mouth a gape, "HA! Honestly I'm not, not really.. Jimmie sometimes struggles with never being a father though." 

Her eyes sharpen, mouth purse, "Oh.. wait...Neily..  that never leaves this room, understood? I can make your life an absolute living hell if you tell Jimmie". Well that's utterly terrifying, I respond as quickly and calmly as possible, "Completely understood, Jan. That's between you and Jimmie. That said, if you need any help just ask, I can't even touch your coding but I've picked up a few things on communication and design". Janice scares me sometimes. 

Back to jovial Janice she responds, "Thanks Neil, I'll keep that in mind once I get to the hardware stage. For now I'm not sure I could even explain my setup well enough to have someone help or do anything with it. This is my brain child after all"

"Literally", I interject. 

She giggles her infectious laugh again, impressive for a synthesized voice. Then shoos me along, "You should get moving though Neily, don't keep Ruzzo waiting"

"On my way, I'm curious though, what are you naming them?", I can't help but wonder knowing these two. Janice grinning wildly again explains, "I still need to talk more with Jimmie about names, I haven't decided yet but I like Ada, Charles, or maybe Simone after my old friend Giertz from school. She was studying Robotics, I went into CompSci and electrical engineering so we were inseparable during any major projects". Making my way towards the door as she buzzes me through I reply, "I like Simone, Chuck is OK too". 

Janice yells down the hall after me, "No Chuck, only Charles! Now go, don't keep bossman waiting"