"fuck it" | buddie [super slow updates!]

beats hating you.

[buck's pov]

the fire truck zoomed downtown with the sirens blaring for all of LA to hear. i shifted in my seat, uncomfortable with what happened yesterday. how could i even do such a— i hate him, right? my mind felt like a jumble of conflicting emotions. i didn't know what to think next.

i glanced over at the man of the hour, tapping away at his phone. he looked worried.

"is everything ok?" i asked.

"yeah..there's no service. texts won't even get through."

"who you trying to get ahold of?" he probably has a girlfriend. god, i'm disgusting. i masturbated to a taken dude.

i'm just sexually frustrated, that must be it. abby's gone, and i probably have blue balls or something. i'm so touch depraved that i could orgasm to anything with two legs. that's gotta be the reason.

"...my son, i'm trying to reach my son," eddie said back after a moment of silence.

oh god. he has fucking child. a family.

"woah, you got a kid-"

"christopher, he's seven," eddie handed me his phone, showing me a pic of chris.

"-and super adorable, i love kids," i try to play it off like i'm not regretting every choice i've made in the last 24 hours.

"i love this one, i'm all that he's got. his mother's not in the picture."

oh great. i came to a dude with a whole lotta baggage. i might be the horniest asshole in the world.

"he's at school?" i inquired, trying to get myself to focus on something else.

"yeah," eddie replied flatly.

i thought seeing him at his weakest point would bring me some satisfaction, to finally prove to myself that he isn't so perfect. all that did was make me feel worse. the fact that i wished badly on a dude with a little kid, yikes.

"hey, i'm sure he's fine," i reassured him, hoping to get him to smile or something.

he nodded before looking out the window as we drove to our destination. now i could finally think about something other than my jacked up brain. hopefully what happened last night was a one-time thing.

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i wiped the sweat off my brow, finally letting the cool air hit my skin after saving a couple lives. sadly, the old dude fell through the glass when the aftershock hit, but he was a cheater and scumbag overall so did we really lose much?

i slipped my phone into my hand and received a text from maddie.
"hey, service," i informed eddie, who likewise rushed to open his.

maddie:
you okay?

me:
all good, you?

maddie:
yeah, made it through.

me:
proud of you, sis

i looked over at eddie, still on the phone. might have to add 'amazing father' onto mr. perfect's record. i scoff at myself and my shitty humor before walking up to ed.

"want me to give you a ride?" i asked, trying to do one nice thing so karma could maybe overlook all the shitty things i did yesterday. and because eddie is a genuinely good person who deserves it.

"really?"

"yeah, hop in" i smiled, seeing his face light up so quickly. there was that smile i wanted before. i gotta admit this is way better than hating him.

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i pulled up outside the school eddie gave me the directions to. and before i could fully stop the car he was practically a foot out already. i watched him sprint in there and engulf chris in his arms.

my heart felt tingly as a wave of warmth washed over me. i smiled to myself, seeing how happy eddie is. maybe this does beat hating him.