"fuck it" | buddie [super slow updates!]

fireworks.

[buck's pov]

i walked through the hospital doors with eddie to my left. he was called in because his grandma broke her hip looking after christopher. i watched him bicker with his aunt on how hard and time-consuming it is to find someone to look after chris while he's away at the 118.

"daddy!" christopher called from afar, just now spotting eddie.

"buddy, hey..." eddie walked off, scooping chris in his arms.

"..must be rough," i turned to eddie's aunt.

"raising any child alone is rough. my nephew is a saint... but i pray for him anyway," aunt pepa sighed as we watched them from across the room.

oh you'd be praying for me too if you knew any better. not like big old sky man would forgive me. i sighed to myself, knowing i probably deserve twice the shit karma's throwing at eddie. how can one of the sweetest human beings on earth be dealt such crap cards. there's gotta be a way swap some of mine...

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"-christopher's great. he's smart, adorable, funny. in a kid way," i bent down as i pulled out two wine glasses for me and maddie. "he just needs a little extra help."

"cerebral palsy, right?"

"aunt pepa says he got stuck in the birth canal. there were some complications, and then-"

"well, did aunt pepa explain what was happening with the child care situation?" maddie tilted her head. "because there are programs."

"eddie's working on it, he's got insurance. and there's other stuff through the city, state, and county...but the requirements are all different."

it's like eddie isn't allowed to take one break. go to the army and have fun getting your face blown off! oh, a kid? well let's just add on a complication that's gonna tax you financially and mentally as he gets older. oh, and we almost forgot about the wife! ugh silly me. let's have her ditch you and chris, just for the sake of it. ain't that fun? the one source of your happiness is gonna drain all your energy trying to give him the life he deserves.

that's gotta he the biggest fuck you the universe could give someone, especially someone so kind, a-and so considerate. i don't know how the hell i managed to hate the dude.

"eddie's always wondering how to take care of christopher, and christopher's feeling like a burden on his dad," i moved my way into abby's living room, taking a seat on the couch.

"well, eddie doesn't feel that way, does he?"

"not even a little.. he, uh, loves that kid like crazy," i leaned back as maddie stood against the doorframe. "he's a really great dad."

"so, does this boy crush on eddie mean you're finally ready to move on from abby?" maddie raised her eyebrow as she took a seat next to me.

"that's cute," i fake smiled at her.

ok universe, i get it. do i still need to be reminded that i'm a creep? my mind just went there, like those thoughts that are so bizarre it makes you wanna go 'fuck it,' and you linger on it too long. according to me, i lingered on it for a whole 5 minutes. not my best record, but at least it was quick and over with..?

speaking of boy crush, i really hope she means it platonically because if i really do give off those vibes, i don't know how long i could keep it from eddie. i'd probably spit it out the minute he looks at me weird, like he already knows it.

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[eddie's pov]

"i thought you said we were helping your sister move... doesn't look like she's packed anything," i looked around buck's 'invisible girlfriends' place. the decor was bland and didn't suit the place. like a granny lived here, no offense to buck's sister.

"oh, this stuff is abby's, i lied about the whole moving thing. i mean, my sister is moving. it's just, she doesn't really have much stuff."

"what's going on, buck?" i asked him, feeling a little too suspicious for my liking.

"i asked you here 'cause there's someone i want you to meet.." buck grinned.

oh no, please don't tell me he's gonna try to get me into dating again. i'm not doing girls anymore, chris is more important.
"you didn't set me up, did you?"

"no, just trust me. this woman is.. exactly what you need-" buck was cut off by the knocking on door. probably the mystery woman. "she's here."

buck turned around to go open the door and i stood in place, hoping the woman buck did set me up with was racist or ableist or something. at least i wouldn't have to date her.

"buckaroo!"

"carla!" buck embraced the woman as they laughed and rocked side to side.

"baby...ah, i missed your face."

"oh, i missed you too. come on in," buck led carla towards me. "uh, eddie. this is my friend, carla."

"nice to meet you eddie," carla said as she extended her hand to shake mine.

"likewise," i threw her a smile. well, at least she's not a racist.

"carla is LA's finest home health care aid, she has years of experience and i thought she could help you figure out how to get christopher what he needs," buck explained.

my eyes lingered on buck for an extra second, surprised why he was being so nice. it could just be what friends do, but my wife wasn't ever as sweet as buck. even when i was deployed in afghanistan and nearly lost my life.

"i'll get you through this in no time," carla grinned. "now, let's go sit down and see what you're working with... besides that perfect bone structure."

i smiled to myself, sorta wanting to burst into tears and hug buck til he couldn't breathe anymore, all at the same time. my heart hurt, but in that good way that makes you feel special and cared for. fireworks, was it? maybe moving to LA was a blessing after all.