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I hold Oscar's hand in mine, relishing in the feel of his skin as it warms up my whole body. His hands might be cold, but the warmth that spreads through me is indescribable. Our souls are connected - that's what I feel when I take hold of his rough hands.

The doctors say that he's been injected with sedatives for his body to recover from the days exertion and the migranes so he might not wake up any time soon. So I have no other option except for sitting right next to him and go through his diary.

Grandpa's been admitted to the hospital. And the doctors say that he has to stay there until his time comes. Grandma is shattered after hearing this. Mom is broken. Dad is devastated.

But I don't know what to feel anymore. I am sad about this sudden information thrown at me but I don't know what I should feel anymore. I feel so wretched and so hollow on the inside and the guilt of not bursting into tears on knowing that I might lose him too is eating me alive.

I feel horrible about myself. My grandfather is dying and here I cannot even shed a tear? What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me Ali? What is happening to me?

Nothing is wrong with you Oscar. You're only human. And you don't deserve this pain.

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