Surreptitious

Chapter 31: Mirrors

“Why is it not something you can just consider, Hope?” Josie cried out at the other girl in frustration, the two of them still in the car they borrowed from Hope’s aunts to get around in, on their way back to the house.

“Why should I, Josie? I don’t know them whatsoever! They could be bad people for all we know.” Hope answered in equal measures of frustration. The two had been arguing since they had left the Bayou and their tempers were rising more quickly with every passing minute.

“They’re Crescents. You know as well as I do that they are just simple – and decent – people. I could sense it and I KNOW that you could as well.” Josie fired back, getting so extremely tired of Hope’s half-assed excuses to not be who she was born to be.

“Even if that’s the case, Jo, I still don’t know them. How am I supposed to build the familial bond that comes with pack life with a bunch of strangers?” Hope shook her head and stepped just a little harder on the gas pedal in order to speed through an amber light.

“Simple, Hope – you get to know them. That’s generally how people make friends, ya know.” Josie snarked and gripped the edge of her seat in response to Hope’s speeding.

“I don’t want to. I don’t need to. Why should I? I’ve got what I need.” Hope dismissed in response.

Josie glanced over to Hope next to her and scowled, then chuckled darkly. “We both know that’s just a lie you like to tell yourself. Yeah, you have family and you have friends, sure. But you’re a goddamn wolf, Hope, and you come from two very long bloodlines of not just wolves, but of alphas. Simply saying you don’t need to, because you’ve got what you need, is a damn copout and you know it!”

Hope snapped her glowing eyes back at Josie when she came to a sharp stop in the driveway of the house. “Why does this even mater so much to you?” She frowned deeply, extremely aggravated by Josie’s persistence.

“Because I’m not just going to stand by and watch you not reach your full potential.” Josie spat as she exited the car, slamming the door a little too harshly. “You are the single most amazing person I have ever met in my life, and I am so unbelievably proud of who and what you are.” Her voice softened then as she stepped around the car towards Hope. “But you are not yet who you’re meant to be. And if I care about you the way that I do, it’s my job to push you in that direction.”

Hope froze, staring back at Josie, her heart pounding in her ears. Even though Josie was trying to do good and to help Hope, all she was currently achieving was to intensify the fear that Hope felt overtaking her chest like cancer, growing and twisting through muscle and sinew and twisting around her ribs, hampering her ability to breathe.

“You could assume the alpha position of the pack and leave River in charge, come back for them. But they’re in danger here and I don’t see why they cannot come back with us to the school. They’re our age, some of them probably haven’t even finished their schooling yet. You could lead them to a new and better life.”

The tangles of anxiety tightened further in Hope’s chest as she listened and considered what Josie was saying. Her? Lead a pack? Provide for and protect them? Until the next big bad guy comes along and executes them? Is she supposed to grow attached to these wolves and build up her pack as alpha, only to inevitably lose them again? Is she supposed to just agree to such heartache? How much heartache would she have to experience before she breaks completely?

Hope’s thoughts and emotions quickly spun out of control as she leaned onto the hood of the car for support.

“I can’t do this right now.” Hope muttered lowly. She felt like she might pass out.