What You Have To Give

8. Another 'Date'?

Tom called me the next day, at eleven. "Hi, Kate!" he said down the phone, excitedly. "How are you doing?"

"Oh me?" I asked. "Bit tired after last night. Thanks by the way; it was lovely"

"Kate: you were the one that made it lovely," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. I decided to accept the compliment and thanked him for it.

"No, it's the truth," he said. I laughed: "Well thanks anyway Tom."

"I just called to see how you were," Tom said, "Unless you want to chat..." There was a hint of hopefullness is his voice. "OK, let's chat. What about?"

"Anything. Can I ask you an important question?" he asked. I nodded down the phone and then realised that he couldn't hear that. "Oh yeah, sure Tom. Lay it on me."

Face palm. 'Lay it on me'? That was awful. "Sorry," I gulped. "I meant that you can ask me."

"D'you have a boyfriend?" was his question. What a question. "Tom...?" I asked down the phone. "What did you say?" He coughed: "I asked if you had a boyfriend. Didn't you hear?" he said.

"I, didn't... It was just an odd question Tom." My head was spinning. "Would you mind clarifying?" I bit my lip nervously. "Uh, OK. Just imagine I was one of your friends, a girlfriend of yours say, asking if you had a boyfriend."

"What you mean you don't tr- ohh Tom, I see," he was asking if I considered him as a boyfriend (I hoped) and because it was him I said down the phone: "No, no I don't Tom."

"That's -" he mumbled, and I didn't hear the second word. "Pardon Tom?"

"Doesn't matter," he said. Oh Tom you won't get past me that easily, I thought with some satisfaction. "No, tell me."

"Please Kate, I doesn't matter," he had an edge to his voice. "OK Tom." I thought it best not to push it any further as I didn't want a repeat of last time.

"So, I just called to chat a bit," I could tell Tom was nervous about it. I could imagine him running his hands through his hair and the agitation in his bright blue eyes as he talked to me. "Tom," I started tentively, "You don't need to be..."

"What?" he snapped. "What don't I need to be?"

"Just saying, Tom, it's just me. I'm a friend to you, I hope. You don't need to try and -"

Deep breath.

"- impress me," the words spluttered out of my mouth. It wasn't that bad saying it, but I hadn't predicted Tom's reaction. "Oh, Kate," he sounded almost disappointed. "Oh, yeah, sorry."

"No, please Tom, no apologising," I said, slightly befuddled. He laughed: "I apologise quite a lot. I've even been told too much."

"I could expect," I said lightening the conversation again. "So, you tell me, d'you have a girlfriend?"

"Asking as a different friend of mine?" he asked. "Yup," I said. "In which case, I would say I don't think so now." The way he phrased it made me feel guilty. "Sorry Tom," I said, deadly seriously. He didn't reply. So much for this being a casual conversation.

At the moment, it couldn't have really got more awkward. I wanted to see his face, I thought, see what he was saying through his expression. I wanted to see him, meet up with him. I stayed silent though.

"Hey," Tom said after a long silence. "Are you still there?" I jumped: "Yes Tom. Sorry."

"I was wondering," he started. "D'you want to go for a drink on Wednesday?"

"I'm working until seven," I said quickly, wishing I hadn't as soon as I'd said it.

"I can pick you up from work if you want," he sai quickly. "Only if you want to Kate, though. If you don't don't -"

"I'd love to Tom. Shall I tell you where I work then? Here, I'll give you the address." I read it out to him. "Thanks Tom," I said, but there was an ominous silence on the other side of the phone. "Bye," I said. "Love you."

"Bye Kate," he said. "Stay safe." The phone beeped. He'd gone.

Well thanks for saying 'Love You' too I thought sarcastically, pursing my lips. I drank my tea and thought of going back to bed but decided against it. We were going out together (on a date?) in a few days. he might say that he loved me. We weren't together, that conversation had just confirmed that. But why was he so scared of saying it? I'd said it to him. Why?

Maybe he's just using you. Oh go away brain. He's not like that. I thought back to all the times we'd shared before I had kissed him, whilst we still filming.

It was so much less complicated then. I almost wished to go back, but no. I had to accept that it had changed; we had changed. I couldn't go back, no matter what.

Wednesday evening, one minute to seven

Tom was early in fact. I saw him striding up the road, and then waved at me through the cafe window. I turned to a collegue of mine: "Can you cover for me until you close? I'm assuming you'll be shutting late, judging by everything." The cafe was still busy.

"Why- ohhh," my collegue saw Tom waving at me. I waved back quickly. "Enjoy your date," my friend said. "He's really hot though. Wait, isn't he...?"

"No. He's so not," I covered for him quickly. "I'm going to be a couple of minutes to change, you can talk to him if you want." She waved at him and beckoned him in. I ran off quickly, changed and smoothed my sweaty hands over my jeans. "Right," I said at myself into the bathroom mirror.

When I came out, Tom was signing a cup holder for my friend. He grinned immediately when he saw me. "Hi Kate."

"Hi Tom," I went out with him, smiling. My friend waved at us. "Have fun, don't be mischeivous." I mouthed swear words behind Tom's back at her, which caused her to giggle.

Finally, we were outside, and I looked at Tom more closely. Dammit. He was wearing a red plaid shirt and tight jeans.

No no no no no. I seriously needed to stop having sexual fantasies about him. Look at his face. Drag your eyes off the ground. I raised my eyes to his face. Not much better. Those damn cheekbones, beautiful eyes. He had really nice lips.

Oh God. Stop it me. By now I was aware that we had walked at least a hundred metres and it was a bit too late to start a conversation without it being awkward. I quickly looked at Tom. He wasn't looking at me, his eyes were fixed on the pavement ahead.

We reached a pub and Tom ordered us both a gin and tonic. "Like the last night of The Deep Blue Sea," I said, smiling at the glass, deep in memory. Tom looked up: "Huh?"

"We had gin and tonic on the last night party," I said, my smile fading a bit. He nodded and gulped down a mouthful.

He made a better attempt at conversation: "So you're working at a cafe now," he said.

"Oh me," I had become slightly distracted, for no reason whatsoever. "Oh yes, I took a break from clapper-boarding."

"Why?" he asked. "Oh because...Tom, it's sort of private," I said, because it was that I missed Tom so much that I didn't think I could look at a clapper-board again without feeling sad.

He studied me carefully, "100 percent honesty is the foundation for any relationship."

"So we have a relationship?" I asked. Subtle attempt at flirting. I was actually quite proud of that, but Tom immediately stopped talking and looked at the glass gloomily.

I would tell you all the details of our 'date', but it's too depressing. He didn't kiss me, there was nothing romantic about it at all. I was quite upset, to be honest, and rocked asleep that night crying slowly.

A/N

Okey hi. That was an awfully bad chapter. But don't worry, good chapters are coming soon(ish). I think that was way too flat but...

I'm going back to school in a few days, but I might be able to update again before then. I don't know: I'll see. Just to say, after I go back, updates will probably be a lot less frequent. Sorry. :(

That's all for now. Have a lovely time, laugh, love, live life to the full. Byeeeeeeee.

Loads of love, HiddlesLover1 xx